The Answer to THE Question

Today I was at my Physical Therapy appointment for neck and back pain from my accident. I really thought it would go away, but it hasn't. And of course, the more I do around the house and with the kids, the more pain I feel.

Today I brought Egypt with me. Both boys are in school, so it was the best time to go in. I have stretches to do and she checks my range of movement. Then she gave me a back and neck massage. We're chit-chatting and she asks why Egypt isn't in school. I said, Well, she's only 3 1/2. She asked me What do you DO all day? So for the benefit of all those well-wishers who wonder what a Stay-At-Home-Mom does all day, here's a sample schedule:

We get up before all three kids so we actually GET to take a shower.
Get all three kids dressed, lunches packed, remind them to get their socks, shoes and notebooks. Stop doing Origami, we need to focus on getting our teeth brushed. No, turn off the TV and get your shoes on. Please take your dishes to the sink. Ok, you can feed the cat. Let's check your backpack so you don't accidentally take toys to school. Oh, I forgot to sign your daily report. Find a pen, scribble my signature, put it back in the backpack. Now, two of you, get into the car and you there, wait outside for the bus. No, I'm not going to carry you to the car you can walk by yourself. Stop bothering your brother and get into your car seat.

One kid leaves on the bus and we pull out of the driveway only to notice we're attempting to drive 10 miles on Empty. Go get gas. Turn around and drive back down the hill to school. Come back into town and stop at a store for prescriptions and a few necessities. Come back home and feed the cat and bring the bags into the house. Make a few phone calls, and then head back out the door for the PT appointment. The rest of my day will look like this:

Feeding Egypt and putting her down for a nap. Making more insurance related phone calls or calls about a new van. Going through paperwork for an upcoming IEP meeting. Eating lunch before running out the door to pick up Holland from school and taking him to a doctor appointment. Rushing back home so my mom can leave and I can run over to the bus hub to pick up Romania. Letting the kids play outside, trying to do some laundry, picking up the mess that whirled through the house, cleaning up the kitchen from last night, and trying to figure out what to make for dinner, which nobody will like anyway.

Doing more laundry, getting three kids ready for bed which always takes longer than it humanly should. Sewing a few stitches on a new blouse for Egypt. Getting backpacks and clothes ready for the morning. Doing research online for alternative learning methods. Picking up Legos, dirty clothes, cleaning a bathroom, washing sheets and sleeping bags and finally clearing the clean clothes off my bed so I can crawl in.

So, I guess I don't do much all day.

The New Trampoline

We bought a 14 foot trampoline for Holland and Romania's birthdays. We've always celebrated their birthdays together and this year we had a request to have separate celebrations. We gave them each a Lego set, but decided one big present for them both would be a trampoline. We've had a second-hand wood play structure in the back for several years. It mainly was used for the sandbox underneath and seemed to endure much abuse instead of play. I was glad to see it go. Super-hero dad had to clear the space on the grass and dig a big hole for the trampoline to sit on. I didn't think there was that big of a slope, but on one end he dug about 2 inches and the opposite end has about 14 inches dug away.

It's taken several after work nights to get it set up. And the continuous rain is no help - not to mention the hail and snow we've had the past three days. The kids have used it a couple times when the weather clears up in the afternoon and had a blast. I even jumped on it! I'm sure we'll have lots of visitors. I'll have to get some pictures of the kids jumping and post them.

He's a different kid

Holland is now on just two mood stabilizers and the difference is amazing! It's taken several months of tweaking several different meds for his mood. We started around Thanksgiving with one, and were trying to eliminate another. It got really bad, so we kept him on the third one and planned to stop it when his mood became more stable. We ended up tapering off the new one and going back to Lithium. He had a few rough weeks at school. He seemed cranky and tired and just not happy. Last week was the last time with three meds.

He brings home a paper that records his behavior for the day. Two teachers will rate how his behavior was and then he also scores himself. One is the worst, five is the best. One of the teacher's names was crossed out and the program specialist put her name in and crossed out the 5 and wrote a 6 and circled it! I don't even think he saw that until he got home. Romania and I were so excited - cheering for him. I can't imagine what the day must have looked like to have that rating!

He's doing better transitioning between activities. He doesn't erupt when I have to redirect him. He hasn't yelled at me when I say 'no' to a friend coming over. Romania is even pointing it out. The other day he said, "hey, did you hear what Holland said? He didn't yell and said 'yes, mom'. "

Now we've just got to work on these terrible two's of Egypt's. Oh wait. She's three. What is that called?

10 Things.....

That will send me to the nut house:

1. Going to use a strainer in the kitchen only to find it's been mangled by the resident scientist.

2. Canning jars of peaches and not being able to find the gripper. Again, compliments of the scientist.

3. Reaching for gum in my purse, only to find that it's been stolen.

4. Having computer paper used for art projects.

5. Finding frozen colored ice pops in the freezer that have been made with ink from a pen.

6. Vacuuming 20 minutes ago and still being able to find bits of crackers, popcorn or pretzel trails on the floor.

7. Finding old sandwiches, dried up food and banana peels under a bed.

8. Stepping on Legos that I just asked to be taken upstairs. They must have walked down on their own.

9. Answering the same question 5 times, asked 5 different ways, and still giving the same answer in less than 10 minutes.

10. Washing clothes and finding legos, rocks, food wrappers and hard candy in the dryer after the cycle.

Water, Water Everywhere

Everything's so much more fun with water, right? So why not on Valentine's Day? Not that we were planning anything spectacular, but you never want to have to deal with an overflowing toilet.

I had just finished getting the kids dinner. Egypt had been finished for a few minutes and called to me saying she needed help with her clothes. This is always a clue to some greater mischief. She said she needed to change her clothes because they were wet. We're very close to being finished with potty training and any time she gets a little wet, ALL the clothes come off and she finds clean ones in her drawers. I put her back on the toilet to see if she would go again. No luck. So, got her dressed and went back downstairs. The boys were playing a game on the computer, so I sat down for a breather. Not even 5 minutes later, I hear a strange dripping noise upstairs, like someone forgot to turn off the faucet. I had Romania go investigate. Needless to say, "you're not going to believe this!" is not what you want to hear. I ran upstairs and water is gushing out of the bathroom floor onto the hall carpet. I get in the bathroom and the toilet (I'm thanking higher powers that it was clean water) is running over. I turn off the valve at the bottom and start yelling to the boys to get towels. I had no idea how I was going to clean this up. How do you pick up an inch of water on a floor? I race back downstairs and see that the water is dripping through the ceiling from a vent. Fabulous! Now we're going to have moldy drywall. I grab a plastic bowl and throw everything off the table it's dripping onto, shove the bowl under the drip and grab a broom and dustpan. Back upstairs the boys are stomping on the very wet towels. So basically I swept up the water and kept throwing it into the tub. It worked pretty well.

I even had time to page super-hero dad and tell him about our little fiasco. But his pager has been on the fritz and he didn't get the message. When he opened the door, the boys run at him and start explaining about the big water mess. We figured out (process of elimination since she was the only one up there) that Egypt kept flushing the toilet. Practicing for when she actually uses it.

Tonight super-hero dad and I ignored the humongous mess in the kitchen and watched a movie. How romantic! Too bad I didn't think to get a picture. Now that I have some where to write about all our mishaps, I'm constantly evaluating if the situation would make a good blog post and if so, how fast can I grab the camera. Sorry. I grabbed a bowl instead.

Reading in Bed

When I was little, I remember my mom putting foam curlers in my hair and going to bed with them. It felt really weird to sleep in them, but it's such a fun memory of waking up with curly hair. I bought some foam curlers to use on Egypt. While her hair was still wet after a bath, she sat in bed reading and I put curlers in. These are some of the pictures I took. I wasn't sure if she'd sleep in them, but most had fallen out by morning because her hair is still pretty thin. She got pretty goofy and kept looking in the mirror to see them.

Good Night!

Tonight Egypt wanted to say goodnight to Dad and Romania. I asked if she knew how to sign that. (Daddy's deaf, so all the kids are learning sign). She said, "Yes. Like this!" This is a picture of her signing "I love you" for 'goodnight'. Love it.

Finally, an answer and a decision

One more post today. I think three posts in one day is crazy enough. But here goes.
I got a call from the microneurosurgeon's office today. We are scheduled for surgery on Monday, January 14th. She's sending the paperwork for check-in. It will seem more real this weekend, I'm sure. I checked with my pediatrician, who has caught all of Holland's issues early on. I trust her opinion about these things and she has said she believes it's the right decision.

The surgery takes a couple of hours and I get to stay in the hospital with him. I'm so grateful for that. I'm looking forward to hospital bed-head. He goes home on Tuesday and should be up and around in three to four days. It's so nice to have an end in sight. Of course, I am still praying for total healing before this!

Big Mess

Sometimes I want to rip up the carpet in my house and throw it in the washing machine. Either that, or just rip it up. Having three kids, you're bound to have things spill on the floor. Someone "forgets" and brings hot cocoa into the family room. They start horsing around and then it gets spilled. Egypt has taken to changing her own diaper. Not the urine soaked ones; the other kind. Yes, it does make for a messy floor. She uses about 20 wipes to get it all off.

Today's mess had nothing to do with kids spilling stuff. My cat, who is about 15 years old, likes to hang out in our room. She lounges on the bed (or under it if she doesn't want to be bothered). Lately she has been throwing up. At first I thought it was just hairballs, but it's actually food. (gross, I know) During Egypt's non-nap today, I kept hearing noises upstairs. I went up, and there is my cat throwing up on the carpet. Two minutes before that, she had been laying on an old blanket that Egypt had spread out for us to play on. Why couldn't the cat have thrown up ON the blanket? Now I have a huge gross spot right on the carpet. If we were to sell our house, the people would think we lived like animals with all the stains on the carpets, drawings on the walls, broken molding and peeling paint.

The roller coaster ride

It seems weird to post about a boy in a good mood, but it really is a big deal. We've been dealing with either depression or severe anger. Holland's meds have been changed so much, which I just hate. Our trip in March to Hawaii was brutal. He was so depressed on that trip, which sounds impossible to do. It continued like this for 5 or 6 months. Meds were changed again and then he seemed so out of control, angry and got very physical.

Over a year ago, we had tried Lithium, which is a pretty common drug for bipolar. But it gets tricky in children, because there have been so few studies with that age group. Basically drugs are given according to a person's weight, so meds for kids are usually just proportionately reduced. I had never seen such an improvement in his mood and demeanor. At some point we had blood work done and he had developed hyperthyroidism. Our doctor didn't feel it was worth the risk to deal with a thyroid problem, so we dropped the Lithium.

A few days ago we were going through another medication change and I asked about going back to Lithium. Doc asked if I really had seen that much improvement. Yes, I assured him, it was the biggest change I'd seen. He's been on it for 3 days at about 1/3 the dose he will be taking and I cannot believe the improvement. He's more himself. He was cracking jokes in the car today; he didn't get angry when his sister was poking him; he didn't come unglued when I told him he couldn't download a game on the computer. He almost seems more rational, if that's possible. We may even get to do Christmas Eve/Day this year without leaving early.

We still have to monitor his thyroid, but the doctor thinks if it becomes an issue, we'll treat it with meds. We may finally see an end to the ever-changing drug cocktail.

The Christmas Letter

Oh boy. I'd better get my Christmas cards put together. My hard-working husband loves to write up a letter every year. But I end up proofing, editing and condensing it. I caught him this morning starting to write it. He had even added a picture of us in Hawaii. Now, having a picture of our family in Hawaii isn't bad, but Holland wasn't in the best of moods on our trip (he cried almost the entire time. And not mad crying-sad crying.) So this wonderful trip turned into a really depressing experience because he was so gloomy the entire time. The one family picture we have, he's standing there in a wet suit, staring down at the sand. I really don't want to send this picture out. I'm hoping to include a short typed message on a 3X5 piece of cardstock. I already ordered the prints and will just need to assemble them.

The library and the zoo

Egypt has decided that it's not good enough to just have stuffed animals or books in her room. They have to be IN her bed. Ever since we gave her Holland's bed (don't worry - he has a bed. He's not sleeping in his closet or anything.) she puts a truckload of animals and books on her bed before naps and bedtime. Before she transitioned to a twin bed, I made a comforter cover for an extra down comforter we had. I was glad it was ready to just pull out of the closet and plop on the bed. It took her a few days to get used to it. But now she brings about 10 books into bed with her and all these stuffed animals and dolls. And she has names for everything. (The boys never named things. So it's quite funny to hear her refer to her animals by name). There's "faffe" (giraffe) and baby girl with the bottle (has to add that bottle part so I don't forget to include that), little rabbit (she won at the harvest party), Wilbur her pink sheep that grunts, the sheeps (there's only one), and of course don't forget to give her the "picmick" blanket. She's got a "purple horse" that's actually a unicorn. But why correct it? She would tell me the sky is green and would argue her point. She also has a "thinking chair" for those of you familiar with Blue's Clues (it's not bright red, either. It's stripey). She will set up the animals on the picmick blanket and read to them. I have to sneak a look because she will stop reading and look at me sideways.

So for now she's crammed in a twin bed with all her zoo friends and reading material. Which actually takes up more room than she does on the bed. But all this keeps her occupied in the morning while she waits for me to get her up. I'd never dream of squelching a new reader's enthusiasm.

Jingle Bell

To keep track of Holland, we've had to install a lock on his door. Oh, I know, I know. Not safe. But what's worse? Having him leave the house in the middle of the night? (not kidding - he went over to my neighbor's house at 3 in the morning. They kept bringing him back, but he kept returning. X-box, you know. They finally kept him the last time and then called me at 6.30). So, I think a little lock is a good trade off for knowing where he's at. Well, the little smart-aleck figured out how to pick the lock. He found some small screwdriver and jiggled the knob from inside and has been able to open it. So, last night I was trying to figure out how to be able to hear him when he jiggled the knob. I found a Christmas jingle bell and hooked it between his door and his brother's. At 5.30 this morning "jingle jingle". I went down the hall. His light was on and he was trying to maneuver that knob. I told him through the door to get back to bed. He wasn't happy and after another go at it, he finally did go back to bed. He's very persistent and can have a one-track mind sometimes. It's like he develops tunnel vision for whatever he's working on and even if you tell him it won't work, he still has to try it out for himself. He's working on a tunnel in the backyard....

Doctor, Doctor

We are now more than half way done with all the doctor visits before we see the surgeon in December. Holland was recently diagnosed with Spina Bifida. It's been a whirlwind diagnosis. He had an x-ray at our pediatrician's office because he had been so constipated. This has been an ongoing problem. We thought it was just from all the meds he's on to treat his bipolar, but it's not clearing up. My very thorough ped. doc sent the x-ray to a radiologist who confirmed her suspicion: spina bifida occulta (which means "hidden" in latin.) He doesn't have all the outward signs of the more serious spina bifida. It's also possible he has tethered cord. That's what all these doctor appointments are for. He's had an MRI, another x-ray, an abdominal scan, seen a GI doctor. It's exhausting just listing them all. We also see a LCSW every week, a chiropractor once a month and a psychiatrist once a month to monitor his meds. We have to see a Urologist to rule out kidney and bladder problems.
Sometimes I wonder why he was given so many things to deal with. It must be because God has some great plan for him to minister to someone. One day, one person will be so affected by all that he's gone through, that that person will turn his life over to Christ. I so want this to be glorifying to God. He has so many things going against him; but he has the most important thing going for him: God's love and committment to him as His child.

The Run-Down Family

I use that title because doesn't it feel like that sometimes? Some days I feel like a Mack truck hit me. Here's the low-down on our family:

I've been married to the same man (incredible, I know) for 16 years. We have 3 children; two boys and a girl. Each of their stories is different, and yet each one is an amazing gift from the Creator.

We had been married for several years and I was teaching at a Deaf School. Our attempts to start a family were unsuccessful, so we turned our attention to adoption. During spring break of 1999, we flew down to San Diego to pick up our new little son. My students had a huge shock when I didn't come back from the break, but instead showed up with a newborn to show-off.
(Some of my students never let me live that one down. "Why didn't you tell us??" "You abandoned us!", etc, etc.) Did I mention they were dramatic middle schoolers?? But, when you're dealing with infertility and all the emotions that go along with it, you become very guarded as to what you share with people. My teaching career ended and motherhood began. It was an easy transition for me. I loved being at home with him. He was a very sweet baby and I was in love.

Fast forward 2 years later. Son #2 comes along. And not in the same manner as before. Shock of all shocks, we got pregnant. I know, I know. You're saying "I've heard that so many times. People always get pregnant right after they adopt". Here's my sarcasm: It had nothing to do with adopting first. It had everything to do with trusting God's timing. I was actually at peace that I wasn't going to have biological children. And like Emeril Lagasse says "Bam!" Got pregnant without the aid of any drugs, in-vitro, etc. He was truly a miracle. A 9 pound, 14 ounce miracle.

Here's where husband informs me that we are done. (Hard thing to wrap your brain around when YOU'RE not done). So, we adjusted to life with two and went on our merry way. What do you think happens next? That's right. Pregnant again. We're talking, I used no birth control our first like 5 years of marriage. Funny how that happens. You've got your whole life planned out and then God steps in and says "Whoa, there Nelly". (insert horse neighs here)

In the midst of all this, our oldest son was having trouble in social situations. Picture being kicked out of a private preschool because your 3 year-old cannot control himself. I was called back to school so many times to come pick him up because they couldn't control him. So, many years and doctors later, we find out he's Bipolar and possibly FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder). So, basically, I'm going to be writing about my daily life with a bipolar son and all the chaos that ensues. Hope you come along for the ride.