Let's Read

Dad took the boys to the library tonight and appropriately, Egypt wanted to read in her room. So up on her bed, she gathered about 15 books and all her dolls and animals so they could listen, too. And she actually read to me! I was shocked at how many of the words and phrases she could remember. She even read me the titles! She read "Red Big Barn" (Big Red Barn), "Not the Hippopotomus" (which she even pronouned right!), "Polar Bear, Polar Bear", a Mealtime Prayer book (which she basically described all the animals' activities) and "Much Too TV" (a Bearenstain book called 'Too Much TV'). It was the greatest way to spend time with her. All by ourselves just the girls!

Clean Up! Clean Up! Everybody, Everywhere

You never want to have to post about puking. But I've succumbed to reporting everything that happens. And I'm up, so I might as well.

It started off with Egypt waking up from a great nap and us playing. We're downstairs and I hear this gush and turn around and she's projectile vomiting all over the floor. I set her down in the kitchen with a big bowl and clean up the mess. While giving her a bath, dad comes home with the boys from an afternoon of playing basketball and raquetball. First words out of Holland's mouth are "Romania threw up in the car!". Well, of course he did, I thought. Murphy's Law says you can't have just one kid sick.

Hardly anyone ate any dinner. We get all three kids in bed and at 10, just before I'm heading to bed, I go to check on Egypt. Smell hits me right away. She had puked all over herself and her comforter. Get her completely cleaned up, sheets changed and I'm heading back down the hall and Romania is in the bathroom. "I threw up on my bed." So have another set of sheets to change and clothes to change. The smell is the worst. If any smell would make me want to puke, that would be the smell.

I only have one more kid. I think he's up on deck ready for the pitcher.

Brothers

This morning for breakfast I made scrambled eggs and bacon. The bacon will get all three of my kids out of bed. Egypt only eats the bacon now. She's sitting at the table eating Holland's leftover bacon and Romania comes up and says "you know, you're eating Wilbur" (her stuffed pet pig). Brothers are so helpful, aren't they?


This is Egypt on her 3rd birthday with Wilbur. She named him after the character from Charlotte's Web. He oinks and moves his nose. We even have another stuffed pig that she calls "Wilbur's Dad".

The Customer Is Always Right

How many times have you actually encountered this sentiment in a store you've visited? I've called stores before, and asked about a specific item and when I get there, the item either isn't there or doesn't exist. Then when you ask someone about it, they look at you like you walked into Garden World instead of a paper store.

A recent experience put this motto to the test. Back in July, I had to replace our digital camera. The little door where the batteries go had a broken clasp on the inside. Turns out it would cost almost as much to buy a new camera as it would to fix the little door. So I bought a new one. It wasn't actually new; they only had a floor model and this particular sale was ending. The guy told me if I wanted to, I could buy the floor model and they would call me when a new one came in to exchange it.

On Thanksgiving, planning our shopping strategies, my sister found my exact camera on sale $50 cheaper than what I paid. And it was the same store where I bought the camera in July. I was never able to get back out there and had just forgotten about it. Hard-working guy that my husband is, offered to hit a few stores and pick up some bargains. He suggested trying to get the camera replaced. So I wrote a note explaining the situation. Since DH is deaf (and I'm not being sarcastic here; he IS deaf), it was easier to have it written down. Unfortunately all he came home with was a new warranty paper. They had mistakenly written down a different model number in July. I was annoyed because I just wanted it taken care of. We happened to be out again that night for dinner and he suggested me trying to fix it myself. So I explained to an employee what happened. She took a brand new camera off the shelf and put it on hold for me. She even said she would ask her manager about giving us a deal since we had so many problems.

Last night, DH came home with the brand new camera, $50 returned from the purchase price and someone even noticed that we had been charged a warranty for a higher model camera and refunded that as well! I couldn't believe how great they were. They didn't have to refund any money and we never would have known about the warranty mistake.

So the next time you're treated like you walked into computer store and actually wanted a ficus, keep the faith. Somewhere, someone out there actually knows what customer service is.

Amazing Grace

If you haven't seen this movie, you need to! It was a wonderful movie about William Wilberforce, the English reformer trying to abolish slavery in early 19th century Great Britian.

His mentor is John Newton (the author of the song "Amazing Grace") and follows William's repeated failed attempts to convince Parliament to condemn something that would end Britian's liveliehood. I so enjoyed the movie, that I checked out the book from my local library (by Eric Metaxas). There is so much more detail about Wilberforce's life and especially his childhood. You get an amazing picture of who he was as a person and also a better understanding of his desire for spiritual contemplation.

The Christmas Letter

Oh boy. I'd better get my Christmas cards put together. My hard-working husband loves to write up a letter every year. But I end up proofing, editing and condensing it. I caught him this morning starting to write it. He had even added a picture of us in Hawaii. Now, having a picture of our family in Hawaii isn't bad, but Holland wasn't in the best of moods on our trip (he cried almost the entire time. And not mad crying-sad crying.) So this wonderful trip turned into a really depressing experience because he was so gloomy the entire time. The one family picture we have, he's standing there in a wet suit, staring down at the sand. I really don't want to send this picture out. I'm hoping to include a short typed message on a 3X5 piece of cardstock. I already ordered the prints and will just need to assemble them.

We went to the park to try to get some pictures for Christmas cards. My kids cannot not be goofy. I finally said "just make a silly face and let's be done with it." Which can be seen in the last photos. I think I'm using the sepia picture. I'm making my own because I never get to be creative. And if I didn't make them, DH would make me edit a 2 page letter to send out. I think a picture says it all.

Flying High

I just had to post this picture of Egypt on her new trampoline.
It's foldable and fits right under her bed. Romania will set it up for her and he does the "sports" (Egypt's word for splits) while she cuts her "begtables", these wooden velcro vegetables. Then they switch jobs.

The mommy monitor

I think I've finally figured out a way to "watch" Holland without him knowing and without him escaping from his room. Let's see. So far I've: put a hook lock on his door. He ripped that off. Tried a sensor door alarm. The door jam isn't flat, so the beam doesn't connect. Changed doorknobs to a push knob lock on the outside. It took him a couple months, but he finally figured out how to pick the lock. The first few months, he would get out of bed and knock on the door if he had to use the bathroom. Seemed very polite and orderly. He went from polite and orderly to sneaky and methodical. He used a pencil to poke in the hole and unlock it. I've even had him sleep next to me on the floor. I never hear him get up - it's like he's some sneaky snake (Tom T. Hall)

So I went out and bought a baby monitor. Yup. Paid 60 bucks for a digital monitor (this way the neighbors can't hear all the great stuff I have to say in the middle of the night!) The tricky part was finding a place that wouldn't be discovered. If he realizes that I'm listening to him at night he'd probably take apart the baby monitor or hide his unit. I stashed it underneath a bookshelf right next to his bed. Now I just have to keep the parent unit camouflaged so he doesn't try to plug it into anything. Maybe a bell to hang above his door so I can hear that, too.

I'm thinking about shopping for a publisher. I'm sure someone out there could use a few pointers on how to keep tabs on an impulsive bipolar kid.

Let's Play Bunco!

Tonight I got to indulge in my one guilty pleasure for the month. I got together with 11 other girlfriends and played Bunco. If you've never played, you're missing out on some great action. Lots of yelling, laughing and of course food (the main ingredient in these fun nights). This same group of gals has been getting together for over a year now. We rotate homes and hosts and leave our husbands and kids alone to fend for themselves for a few hours. I can tell you, I come home refreshed and full of new insight into my friends' lives. Getting 12 women together is a hoot and we all have plenty of stories to share from the previous month.

Even though I didn't win anything tonight, I came home to a quiet house with all three kids asleep! That's prize enough!

Update on the ebay lie

I got a call from Holland's teacher about 3 minutes before he was to arrive home. She wanted to warn me that I had a battle ahead of me. Uh-oh. They determined that he bought the cards for $1 from a boy on the bus. (that's why he came up with the buying lie). Holland was given two choices for what to do with the cards: he could give them to the teacher or give them to me to give back to her. He chose to give them to me, but she called to warn me that he wasn't happy about either decision. She told me the future lawyer came up with many good arguments as to why he should keep them.

So when he walked in the door, I was armed and ready for battle. "Mom, Nicole wanted me to give these to you."
Coolly, "Oh, great. Thanks." Shock waves flying through my brain. I immediately call Nicole to tell her the good news. More shock (and awe, ha ha). Then a phone call 30 minutes later. Turns out Holland convinced (more lawyer moves) another teacher to make photocopies of the cards! (brilliant!) so he could color them and calm down. Wow. He IS good. He gave me the 'fake' cards and had the real ones in his pocket! He tries to convince me he didn't know I wanted the real cards. I told him I didn't ask for any cards; he offered, so he must have known what he was doing.

Now, if he could just harness that power and use it for good....

The ebay lie

Today I got a call from Holland's teacher asking me about some Pokemon cards and Yu-gi-oh cards that Holland had at school. He told them some great story about buying them on ebay. It was such a believable story that she had to call and confirm it with me. As you've probably already guessed, he didn't purchase them on ebay. But he's smart enough to know that he's: 1. not allowed to have them, and 2. not allowed to trade things with other kids on the bus or at school. So in his bright little memory-impaired brain, he came up with a story about buying the cards online. The good news is, the teacher told me it's a pretty impressive lie for someone with Holland's impairment. Oh- I'm so proud!

Remembering to Learn and Learning to Remember (Dr. Mel Levine)

I'm currently reading two books by author Dr. Mel Levine (well, it's actually more like 4 by various authors. I can't seem to do one thing at a time). I was introduced to his work by a former supervisor where I taught school to deaf kids. I still stay in contact with many of my co-workers and get helpful information about different areas of interest.

Most of the research I've done or the information I have been given has been one-dimensional. It's either from a doctor's point of view or an educator's point of view. Both pieces are very important, but I have learned so much in the few chapters I've read so far. Dr. Levine is a learning expert and also a pediatrician. So he's coming at the topic from two angles. In his book "A Mind at a Time" he discusses different learning patterns in children and how the current public school system still holds to the one-size-fits-all philosophy. In many of the children whose stories he shares, I can see my own son. I've never been able to pinpoint exactly how his mind works. In all the testing that's been done or the diagnoses we've received, I always felt like we didn't have a full circle view of his learning patterns.

One of Holland's main learning issues is his working memory. This is explained beautifully by Dr. Levine: "Active working memory accomplishes four specific duties: 1- providing mind space for the combining or developing of ideas; 2-offering a mechanism for holding together the parts of a task while engaged in that task; 3- making available a meeting place where short-term memory can get together with long-term memory; and 4- serving as a place to hold multiple immediate plans and intentions." So it's easy to see why kids with working memory difficulties cannot complete a task while holding on to additional information. It's like asking Holland to retrieve something upstairs, but on the way, his attention is diverted by the toy in the hall. Suddenly, he's consumed with playing with that toy and he forgets the original goal. This is very useful information to have - I rarely give him more than one job to complete.

Many kids probably look like they are day-dreaming when they are actually trying to retrieve information and holding on to what the teacher just said. It explains why Holland has difficulty reading and writing. He cannot string sounds together because that involves storing that first sound while reading the remaining sounds. It's incredible to think that any of us can complete a task when you imagine all the parts of our brains that are engaged. Another issue related to working memory is sequential processing. There is a never-ending requirement for sequences in short-term memory everyday.

I'm so blessed that I have people around me who are supportive and share information that I can apply to my own situation. So now, I'm passing on what I've learned to you! And hopefully you can use some of the bits of wisdom here and continue on your own information-gathering journey. Check out the books listed in my educational links.

The library and the zoo

Egypt has decided that it's not good enough to just have stuffed animals or books in her room. They have to be IN her bed. Ever since we gave her Holland's bed (don't worry - he has a bed. He's not sleeping in his closet or anything.) she puts a truckload of animals and books on her bed before naps and bedtime. Before she transitioned to a twin bed, I made a comforter cover for an extra down comforter we had. I was glad it was ready to just pull out of the closet and plop on the bed. It took her a few days to get used to it. But now she brings about 10 books into bed with her and all these stuffed animals and dolls. And she has names for everything. (The boys never named things. So it's quite funny to hear her refer to her animals by name). There's "faffe" (giraffe) and baby girl with the bottle (has to add that bottle part so I don't forget to include that), little rabbit (she won at the harvest party), Wilbur her pink sheep that grunts, the sheeps (there's only one), and of course don't forget to give her the "picmick" blanket. She's got a "purple horse" that's actually a unicorn. But why correct it? She would tell me the sky is green and would argue her point. She also has a "thinking chair" for those of you familiar with Blue's Clues (it's not bright red, either. It's stripey). She will set up the animals on the picmick blanket and read to them. I have to sneak a look because she will stop reading and look at me sideways.

So for now she's crammed in a twin bed with all her zoo friends and reading material. Which actually takes up more room than she does on the bed. But all this keeps her occupied in the morning while she waits for me to get her up. I'd never dream of squelching a new reader's enthusiasm.

Tornado House

If you're ever wondering why my house is such a mess, don't just think it's because I'm lazy and don't clean up. Here's why my house refuses to stay clean. For several weeks now, Holland has been obsessed (that's what bipolar will do to you) about finding this old pager that DH used to use. We don't have phone service on it, but the games still work. One night after I put Egypt to bed, I was downstairs playing a game of Rummikub with Romania and dad. Last time I had checked, Holland was upstairs playing with Legos. So I left him alone. When the game was over, I started to walk upstairs and Holland was coming down. He said, "I kind of made a mess upstairs." I said, okay. Where, in your room? "No, kind of all over." It was even worse than I could have pictured. The whole hallway was strewn with dirty clothes, clean clothes, toys, books, games. My room had baskets of laundry dumped out, drawers pulled out of my dresser, boxes taken off the armoire, books everywhere. This mess didn't even include his room or his brothers. Toys, legos, clothes, boxes out of the closet. It literally looked like a tornado had swept through the house. I just sat down on the bed and cried. It was 8 o'clock at night and I was exhausted. And looking at this mess, I knew it would be awhile before I got to bed. It's so hard not to be mad at him. Anything you say will send him into orbit. I asked him to help me clean up and he just starts yelling at me and ran screaming down the hall.

So, I did the only thing I could do. I told my husband that I was leaving and could he please help Holland clean it up. It was awful, but I just couldn't look at it and not think how angry I was. This sort of thing happens every day. He doesn't just make a project or try to invent something. He goes to extremes emptying drawers trying to find what he's looking for. Or uses up an entire roll of tape trying to put two things together that have no business being together. He takes supplies out of the school room (I bought him his own supplies hoping it would solve this problem. It didn't). I'm out of two boxes of pencils and it's only November. He staples everything together. He mixes things in the sink in his bathroom and a couple of times on the floor in his room.

Raising a kid with bipolar is about extremes. It's not just about extremes of mood; believe me, he can do that, too. It's impulsivity. I remember when he was being evaluated, the doctor was asking me about his behavior and if he was impulsive. I told him about this time when Holland made greeting cards to sell to people in the neighborhood. It's a great idea. But he did it at 6 in the morning. He walked door to door trying to get money for his cards. He was probably just 5 years old and we didn't even know he'd left the house.

I'm learning (not through with this lesson yet) about patience. It's a very exhausting existence to keep correcting these extreme behaviors. So the next time you see me at the mall, it's probably because my house has had a tornado blow through and I'm surveying the damage from a safe distance.

Update on the Shoeboxes

Today we dropped off the Shoeboxes at church. The kids were really excited to bring them in. We decorated 2 cards and wrote a short note for each child. This whole process was especially hard on Egypt. In the store it was hard to keep her focused on choosing things for other kids. After the boxes were wrapped, I saw her walking around with a stuffed dog she had kidnapped from one of the boxes. We put it back in and she kept saying she wanted to say goodnight to it.

You still have one week left to get your shoebox together and take it to the nearest drop off location. Go to http://www.samaritanspurse.org/default.asp and type in your zip code to find the closest location to drop off your shoebox. You can also make a donation online to help cover shipping costs.

Shoeboxes

This morning we went to the store to buy items for our shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child. Holland was off from school today, so I thought we'd do something productive. The boys and I decided to do one box for a girl age 5-9 and one for a boy age 5-9. We made a list of things we wanted to look for so we wouldn't get side-tracked. I kept reminding them that we were doing something for someone else and there was to be no asking for things in the store. (They did pretty good here. It is really hard to look at toys and not want them!) They picked out great stuff for each child. We filled the boxes when we got home and I wrapped them in Christmas paper. The collection is November 12-19th so we are all ready to have these shipped off to some faraway place.

It's great to have opportunities to share with others. Hopefully my kids are learning about doing something for others and being thankful for what they have.

Check out the short video at the end of my blog and put together a shoebox today for a child in need!

The fort-building disaster

I figured it would have been one of the boys who ended up in the ER some time during the first 6 or 7 years of their lives. But nope. It was the 3 year old. The same little person who yells when there's a bug in her line of sight. Who should have been terrified of climbing up on the top of a bunk bed. Holland was building her a fort in his room and about 10 minutes of them being upstairs, I hear this huge thud and then screams (which is exactly what you want, so says the ER nurse. Then you know they've never lost consciousness). All I could see was lots of blood and I couldn't tell where it was coming from. I took her to the ER and she had a nice little hole in the back of her head. The doctor said because her hair was long, he could just use that to close up the wound. (Loved it - no stitches). So he tied little knots in her hair and put some glue on it as well. Before he came in, the nurse had turned on a tv to distract her. Well, during the whole process of tying her hair, there are two nurses and me holding her down, plus the Dr. doing the procedure. She's crying the entire time and in the middle of her sobbing, she says "I can't see the TV". We all laughed. She got a grape popsicle and some princess stickers afterwards.

Holland felt so bad. He told me he cried for an hour. She had fallen off backwards and hit her head on the corner of a desk. While we were gone, the desk got moved. So hopefully she won't climb up on the desk to get to the bunk. At bedtime, we prayed and thanked God for protecting her from more serious injury. She just smiled and said "a hug and a kiss". I love a good ending.

What's my prize?

Today we saw a Urologist. The first thing he asks the doc is if he gets a prize. Why are kids so embarrassing sometimes? You'd think they had barn animals raising them looking at their manners.

Down to just one more doctor before we find out what's going on with Holland. This doc had more information than the others (tests sent to him) and he's really leaning towards tethered cord. When we started our conversation, he said there were about 5 red flags for him. The fact that he has spina bifida and that he's reverted back to enuresis is not a good sign. He has gaps in his spine in two different places. If it's tethered cord, he said the surgery is pretty simple, just an overnight stay. It would be wonderful if it is that easy to fix. I'm supposed to get him to the toilet every 2 hours. (Is he crazy? It's like telling a sick mom to rest!) I'm supposed to buy this $50 watch (which I'm sure will last a whole day here) that vibrates to remind him to go. It would probably become some science project.

I Heart School

Ok. One more thing to post today. I was going through Holland's school notebook. I have to sign a paper every day. Basically it's just communication between the teachers and myself. They also may tell me how his day went. Once in a while, they put some school work in there so I can see how he's doing. Let me just say right off - he's normal in this area. It's one of those fill in the blank pages. You know, the type that ask you your favorite, food, or animal. Here's how he answered some:
"I think my favorite subject will be" and he wrote "lunch".
"My favorite school lunch is", "pizza".
"This year, I really want to do this in school", he wrote "bus".
"My favorite place in school is" and he wrote "no where"
"This year I want to learn about", (here's the kicker,) "nething"

Wow! He's just like any other typical kid making his way through the trenches of school. Yipppeee!

Jingle Bell

To keep track of Holland, we've had to install a lock on his door. Oh, I know, I know. Not safe. But what's worse? Having him leave the house in the middle of the night? (not kidding - he went over to my neighbor's house at 3 in the morning. They kept bringing him back, but he kept returning. X-box, you know. They finally kept him the last time and then called me at 6.30). So, I think a little lock is a good trade off for knowing where he's at. Well, the little smart-aleck figured out how to pick the lock. He found some small screwdriver and jiggled the knob from inside and has been able to open it. So, last night I was trying to figure out how to be able to hear him when he jiggled the knob. I found a Christmas jingle bell and hooked it between his door and his brother's. At 5.30 this morning "jingle jingle". I went down the hall. His light was on and he was trying to maneuver that knob. I told him through the door to get back to bed. He wasn't happy and after another go at it, he finally did go back to bed. He's very persistent and can have a one-track mind sometimes. It's like he develops tunnel vision for whatever he's working on and even if you tell him it won't work, he still has to try it out for himself. He's working on a tunnel in the backyard....

More downloads

Holland owes me $6. When I was checking my calendar on my Sidekick, I saw an icon for Sonic the Hedgehog. Apparently that night he stashed my pager, he downloaded a game. Dumb thing cost me $6. I was able to delete it, but still have to pay for it. So far he's managed to download 2 ringtones and a game. Don't you ever wonder how your kids find time to do the things they do? Where am I when these things happen? It's not like I'm visiting a neighbor when this happens. I'M HERE.

What's for lunch?

Today my 8 year-old packed his own lunch. Only a crazy person would let her 8 year-old pack his own lunch, right? Well, my 3 year old woke up covered in soupy diarrhea. Holland went upstairs when he heard her wake up. Her bed, sheets, blankets, taggies and pajamas were soaked with this goop. I can't believe she slept through it. What is it with my kids sleeping through raucous bodily functions? Romania slept right through a bout of vomiting the other night. So we got her into the bathroom, stripped her of the mess and popped her in the tub. This was at 8.10 this morning. Bus comes at 8.30. So in the middle of stripping her bed and getting her and her pajamas cleaned up, I told Holland he needed to get his lunch made. He was in heaven, I'm sure. I have no idea what he packed. He hates sandwiches. I pack string cheese, but apparently I bought the wrong kind of string cheese. My mistake. I thought all string cheese was the same. So I have an opened package of string cheese in my fridge that no one will touch. I think he said something about 2 juice drinks (good, now he's hydrated) and some crackers. His teachers are probably going to think I'm some kind of nut packing 2 juice drinks and crackers for a growing boy's lunch.

Well, now I need to go retrieve some Halloween candy from the diarrhea girl. I guess she thinks candy will cure what ails her.

Where's my brain?

Today I was supposed to take two of my kids to a homeschool co-op. I forgot. It must be my age. That's the only excuse you can get away with now. We didn't even get to bed later than normal (for a Halloween night). But I did have to wake up Holland for school. The bus pulls into our driveway at 8.30. I had to wake him up at 8. Actually, Egypt took care of most of the dirty work. I've had her wake him up before and she usually does a pretty good job. (She tells me I'll be very gentle"). Today she took it upon herself to go wake him up. When she was going up the stairs, I told her to be quiet. "I'm just looking at Molly (the cat) under your bed." Seemed plausible enough. A few minutes later she comes downstairs and complains "Holland won't wake up!" I went up to his room to check it out and he was still curled up on the floor. He still seemed pretty sleepy. But, why shouldn't he be? He had been up at 3, gotten a glass of milk and found my $200 pager which he took up to his room. I pulled it out of his pants pocket (yes, he'd even dressed himself at 3 in the morning). He had switched screen colors and been listening to ring tones. He actually downloaded something before. I didn't find out until a charge for a ringtone showed up on our monthly statement. I told him if he did that again, he'd have to pay for it.

So, you see, I was pretty distracted by all this. Trying to get him ready to go anywhere takes much longer than the 30 minutes we had. Telling him to hurry only aggravates him, sends him into orbit and defeats the whole purpose of getting him ready to leave the house. So, when my phone rang at 9.30 and I saw my sister's cell phone number pop up, I wondered why she wasn't at home responsibly teaching her kids. (my bad) We skipped co-op, stayed home and actually got some school done. I figured it wasn't worth it to get everyone ready (mostly me: sweat pants, no make up, wet hair. Not a pretty picture). Luckily, Egypt was still having diarrhea, so I can always use the excuse that she was still sick and I was just thinking about the other kids in her class. :-)

The Butterfly

It's a Great Pumpkin Miracle!

We didn't even have to confiscate any candy. I never would have believed you if you told me she would actually put on the butterfly costume. But I have the pictures to prove it! While I was helping the boys to get ready, I brought the costume up to iron it. She followed me up and when she saw the wings, said "ooh, my bootiful butterfly wings!" I just acted like she hadn't refused the day before. She let me put it on and then ran around to flap the wings.

The kids had a good time playing games and earning candy. Both Romania and Egypt won cakes in the cake walk. Romania was very persistent and played for about 30 minutes before winning.
It was a nice family evening and not a truckload of candy. We even got home at a reasonable hour and I was able to read to the boys from the Frank Peretti book we're reading.