It's been an interesting several months with no job. We've been busy with resumes, cover letters, job applications and countless phone calls. It's a full time job looking for a job. Super Hero has had one job interview. It took about a month to finally find out he didn't get the job. It was a really good company and he was disappointed. He's only had one other interview and it was over the phone (on the video phone) and they said he wasn't what they were looking for. He's applied to the top 10 firms in the area, and now is working on smaller firms and branching out farther geographically.
Meanwhile, I've been working hard with homeschooling and keeping the house intact. Which isn't easy with Super Hero home. You'd think having an extra body at home would be helpful, but it actually makes our school schedule more confusing. We'll be in the middle of something and he'll want the kids to empty the dishwasher or help him with yardwork. I tell him to act like the kids are phsyically gone at school. He is also on the computer most of the day looking at job postings, or filling out applications so it also makes our schedule more complicated having to work around that since we use the computer quite a bit throughout the day. Sometimes it seems like school can stretch to 8 hours!
We've also been driving down to retrieve Holland almost every Friday and bring him back home for a weekend visit. They have not gone well for the most part. I have seen improvements in many areas of his behavior - he is not as violent as he used to be. But he still has that potential for rage and the littlest things can set him off. The weekends are stressful and tiring from driving four hours on Friday and again on Sunday and all the fighting and arguing that happens in 2 1/2 days. We spend all weekend trying to keep everything peaceful and then are exhausted at the end of it and enjoy very little, if any, of it.
There have been some amazing things happening though. And I have to include those here. Because although we are stressed, we've also been blessed! We have been able to pick up food boxes from local churches for the past several weeks. I found a listing of local churches that offer food boxes to those in the area, designated certain days and times of the week. Usually you can pick things up every other week, or once a month, depending on the church. We've had some pretty yummy things given to us (and some interesting things, too!), and each time Super Hero comes back with a box, I feel likes it's Christmas and Thanksgiving rolled into one day! There is fruit and veggies, meat, bread, snacks for the kids, canned food, day-old items from local bakeries or Starbucks and sometimes even shampoo and facial soap. One time there was even two rolls of toilet paper, and it was perfect timing, because I was completely out! God provides. It was amazing.
The other wonderful thing that happened was I had emailed my church about getting a Thanksgiving basket this year. In the past, I knew that they had put together food baskets for those in need in the community. So I asked if this year we could be included in that. Unfortunately, they had such a low number of people request them last year, they decided not to do it this year (which is unfortunate). But they said they would be happy to give us a gift card to a grocery store to help us purchase the items we needed. Yesterday the secretary called me and said that she had the gift card and also an envelope that someone had dropped off with some money it in. I said that Super Hero was out running errands and he could come by and pick it up. When he came home with the envelope, there was $200 inside! We all just stared at the money! (Well, Romania wanted to inspect it to see if he could see the clock on Independance Hall on the back of the bill!).
Oh, and one more thing. I called Oregon Health Plan to find out what kind of coverage the kids have for their medical plan, so I know what doctors to choose. I was told that Holland's care had actually started on August 15th. I had to ask that to be repeated. I said, I didn't even apply for it until September and we won't be out of our private insurance until the end of this month. Are you sure? Because I don't want to be paying something back later on!! I had two different people check it. And yes. They back dated his coverage. Guess what this means? This means that his entire stay at the residential facility has had two insurances covering it. Primary insurance paid quite a bit and then we were going to have to pay for the rest. And after Super Hero was laid off, we worried so much about how we were going to pay for his treatment. Then, out of the blue, comes this information that OHP has backdated our insurance and now they can be billed as a secondary insurance to pick up the rest of the bill for his treatment. I was just floored. So I started asking questions about getting him approved to stay longer since the private insurance had terminated his treatment. Still have not heard about that. We picked him up today for an extended home visit. I'm completely expecting him to come home for good. That's been our plan and I didn't even inquire about this until this past Tuesday. There is a lot of information that needs to be passed around and looked into and we probably won't get an answer until after the long weekend. But I'm confident that Holland will end up where he's supposed to be. I felt that every week when we were approved for that additional week of treatment every Friday. Our therapist was completely floored every Friday when he would come into our room and say, "well, they've given him another week. I've never seen anything like this before!" When I called and told him yesterday that OHP was now our secondary insurance and could possibly be paying for additional time at the facility, his first response was to swear under his breath. I don't think he's ever seen the hand of God in anything before and he seriously does not know what to think of it. So glad that we were able to help him see that wonderful work!
Now pray for us for this very long, and probably not very happy weekend together. Pray that Holland will WANT to change. Pray that he will RECOGNIZE his misbehavior before it occurs and want to change it. Pray for enough sleep for me and no migraines.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Friday, September 28, 2012
ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, brah
La la how the life goes on. It's that song from "The Wonder Years." Yeah. I know it's a Beatles' song. But this is how I remember it.
Hard to believe it's been one week. One week ago I was doing school with the kids and was checking email. Got one from Super Hero with the subject "bad news". He's sent me emails before with that subject and it's usually something about 'don't spend any more money until next paycheck', or 'I don't get to play golf like I wanted.' But this one actually was bad. He got laid off from his job. No warning. No two week's notice. In thirty days we lose our insurance. In thirty days we have no coverage for the massive bill we're going to get for Holland's medical care at the residential facility.
He came home with about 10 huge boxes of his stuff, several large framed pictures and lots of stuff the kids had made and pictures of us as well. It was so sad. When he left his other job, he just moved all his 19 years worth of belongings to the new office.
Two days after he was let go, we drove down to see Holland. We had another family therapy session and an annual review IEP meeting. Talk about a full weekend. Then the next day was the kids' meeting with our ES for school. It is just so crazy around here. Plus I helped Super Hero rewrite his resume; write several cover letters; fill out job applications and look at job openings online. He's under so much stress that people on his FB wall are telling him (and he's actively thinking about it) that I need to go find a teaching job. They're telling him that he can stay home and teach the kids, while I go work. Not only does it frustrate me that he wants me to go back to work, he couldn't even do my job if he wanted to. Get Holland to school; go to IEP meetings; cook all the meals (including gluten free ones); teach all the subjects I do; doctor's appointments (not to mention he couldn't even communicate with the doctors without an interpreter). Sometimes I don't understand why all this is happening. I try not to ask "why me?" But seriously. Why is ALL this happening? Don't we have enough of our portion of learning God's grace going on?
Last week during church, my pastor was telling a story of how his daughter got sick on a Disneyland trip (it related to his sermon, believe me!). Afterwards, he spoke to me for just a minute saying how sorry he was that Super Hero lost his job. And that he was praying for us. "What an adventure you're having!" I said, "I'd rather be having it in Adventureland!"
So I'm still taking one day at a time. I'm trying not to think about all we have to do. Which is hard to do when your husband tells you if he doesn't find a job in two weeks, you will have to find a job or we will lose our house. When was the last time he looked at the salary of a teacher?
Hard to believe it's been one week. One week ago I was doing school with the kids and was checking email. Got one from Super Hero with the subject "bad news". He's sent me emails before with that subject and it's usually something about 'don't spend any more money until next paycheck', or 'I don't get to play golf like I wanted.' But this one actually was bad. He got laid off from his job. No warning. No two week's notice. In thirty days we lose our insurance. In thirty days we have no coverage for the massive bill we're going to get for Holland's medical care at the residential facility.
He came home with about 10 huge boxes of his stuff, several large framed pictures and lots of stuff the kids had made and pictures of us as well. It was so sad. When he left his other job, he just moved all his 19 years worth of belongings to the new office.
Two days after he was let go, we drove down to see Holland. We had another family therapy session and an annual review IEP meeting. Talk about a full weekend. Then the next day was the kids' meeting with our ES for school. It is just so crazy around here. Plus I helped Super Hero rewrite his resume; write several cover letters; fill out job applications and look at job openings online. He's under so much stress that people on his FB wall are telling him (and he's actively thinking about it) that I need to go find a teaching job. They're telling him that he can stay home and teach the kids, while I go work. Not only does it frustrate me that he wants me to go back to work, he couldn't even do my job if he wanted to. Get Holland to school; go to IEP meetings; cook all the meals (including gluten free ones); teach all the subjects I do; doctor's appointments (not to mention he couldn't even communicate with the doctors without an interpreter). Sometimes I don't understand why all this is happening. I try not to ask "why me?" But seriously. Why is ALL this happening? Don't we have enough of our portion of learning God's grace going on?
Last week during church, my pastor was telling a story of how his daughter got sick on a Disneyland trip (it related to his sermon, believe me!). Afterwards, he spoke to me for just a minute saying how sorry he was that Super Hero lost his job. And that he was praying for us. "What an adventure you're having!" I said, "I'd rather be having it in Adventureland!"
So I'm still taking one day at a time. I'm trying not to think about all we have to do. Which is hard to do when your husband tells you if he doesn't find a job in two weeks, you will have to find a job or we will lose our house. When was the last time he looked at the salary of a teacher?
Monday, September 17, 2012
Safe Center
Holland has been at the Safe Center for about a month now. We go every weekend to visit him and to have counseling sessions with the therapist there. He is doing very well. Which can be good and bad. We WANT him to get better, but the insurance will look at his behavior and say, 'why are we paying for this if he doesn't really need services?' He doesn't have the same triggers at the Safe Center that he does at home. So it's like they have to create situations for him to practice calming himself and not getting angry.
We've spent the night twice, which he loved. And was actually easier for us because the drive is so long. And this past weekend, we were finally able to bring Romania and Egypt for a visit. I can't tell you how excited Romania was. All week long saying, "I get to see my brother in 5 days!" It was so nice to hear how excited he was!
Here are several pictures from the past few visits.
We've spent the night twice, which he loved. And was actually easier for us because the drive is so long. And this past weekend, we were finally able to bring Romania and Egypt for a visit. I can't tell you how excited Romania was. All week long saying, "I get to see my brother in 5 days!" It was so nice to hear how excited he was!
Here are several pictures from the past few visits.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Little Boy Lost
Yesterday I met a dear friend at the park and shared some personal information with her about our family. She's one of the few people I can share this kind of thing with. She won't judge. She won't condemn. She won't say "it's about time you did something". She held my hand and said, "I'm sorry." and wanted to know if I was going to share it on my blog. In truth, I did not plan on it. I didn't want to. I have been sharing so much of our struggles with Holland. And yet keeping so much hidden because it's embarrassing and hurtful for me and the kids to have people look at you and wonder what in the heck you did wrong with this kid to have him turn out this way.
I guess I could start with why he's at a residential facility 2 hours from home. He has become unsafe for me and his brother and sister. And the three times I've called the police, they've either looked to the wrong kid for blame (yes, they actually called out Egypt one time), two separate times, they basically chalked it up to 'brothers just rough housing' and 'not getting along'. The therapist we were seeing said to make sure any time I had to call the police, to make sure they understood that I didn't feel safe with him in the house. Wanna know how horrible that feels to say about your child? But that is the only way to get any attention from "the system". Then when I started getting attention from "the system", they kept calling and asking why I wasn't pressing charges against Holland and having him arrested. He physically hit, punched, kicked and threw things at all three of us; he has broken three windows in the house; he has punched holes in the walls; he has slammed doors so hard they have come off the hinges; he has physically tried to jump out of a moving car; he has thrown himself on a moving car when he doesn't want me to leave; he has pushed me down the stairs and has bruised all three of us. I've had to physically remove him and restrain him so he doesn't hurt his siblings.
My therapist told me about a place called Jasper Mountain. It seemed like the perfect fit for him. It's the only place in state that dealt with adoption and attachment issues. It's also not on our insurance. With phone calls becoming a full time job (between keeping the kids safe and the house from falling down), I was able to get the insurance to say they would allow Jasper Mountain to be an in-network facility if a few guidelines were followed to meet their criteria. The only catch was, the facility ages out kids at 14 years. No exception. We have until March. They didn't have an opening until mid to late October. They do have several other facilities which are either day treatment or shorter term residential facilities. We were referred to the Safe Center and a week ago found out that there was an opening on the 15th.
Super Hero and I drove Holland to what I told him was a doctor appointment, Wednesday morning. Knowing his behavior from past experiences, this was the only safe way to transport him to the treatment facility. He was pretty groggy from meds and not much sleep, so I think that contributed to his reaction of just sobbing when I told him. As opposed to the normal hitting and kicking and screaming that usually happens when he doesn't like what's happening.
I will write more later when I have had time to process everything that has happened. I've been sleeping a lot - this has been a very draining experience. And the hot weather is not helping at all. I've spoken to him twice. He said he's refusing to eat and then in the next sentence asked me to buy him a laptop when he gets home.
I guess I could start with why he's at a residential facility 2 hours from home. He has become unsafe for me and his brother and sister. And the three times I've called the police, they've either looked to the wrong kid for blame (yes, they actually called out Egypt one time), two separate times, they basically chalked it up to 'brothers just rough housing' and 'not getting along'. The therapist we were seeing said to make sure any time I had to call the police, to make sure they understood that I didn't feel safe with him in the house. Wanna know how horrible that feels to say about your child? But that is the only way to get any attention from "the system". Then when I started getting attention from "the system", they kept calling and asking why I wasn't pressing charges against Holland and having him arrested. He physically hit, punched, kicked and threw things at all three of us; he has broken three windows in the house; he has punched holes in the walls; he has slammed doors so hard they have come off the hinges; he has physically tried to jump out of a moving car; he has thrown himself on a moving car when he doesn't want me to leave; he has pushed me down the stairs and has bruised all three of us. I've had to physically remove him and restrain him so he doesn't hurt his siblings.
My therapist told me about a place called Jasper Mountain. It seemed like the perfect fit for him. It's the only place in state that dealt with adoption and attachment issues. It's also not on our insurance. With phone calls becoming a full time job (between keeping the kids safe and the house from falling down), I was able to get the insurance to say they would allow Jasper Mountain to be an in-network facility if a few guidelines were followed to meet their criteria. The only catch was, the facility ages out kids at 14 years. No exception. We have until March. They didn't have an opening until mid to late October. They do have several other facilities which are either day treatment or shorter term residential facilities. We were referred to the Safe Center and a week ago found out that there was an opening on the 15th.
Super Hero and I drove Holland to what I told him was a doctor appointment, Wednesday morning. Knowing his behavior from past experiences, this was the only safe way to transport him to the treatment facility. He was pretty groggy from meds and not much sleep, so I think that contributed to his reaction of just sobbing when I told him. As opposed to the normal hitting and kicking and screaming that usually happens when he doesn't like what's happening.
I will write more later when I have had time to process everything that has happened. I've been sleeping a lot - this has been a very draining experience. And the hot weather is not helping at all. I've spoken to him twice. He said he's refusing to eat and then in the next sentence asked me to buy him a laptop when he gets home.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Mr. Chore Chart Shines Again
The Chore Chart has made its reappearance in our house. It's not like I haven't tried this before. I've given tokens for jobs done, or marked things off on a chart, but the problem always is on my end - remembering to remind them. So in the end, the chore chart just ends up being a chore - for ME!
Enter the new therapist. She's had some great ideas. The kids have dubbed her the "repair doctor". And it's not uttered in a nice way when they find out where I'm going for an appointment. They say things like, "I don't like her! She tells you things like we have to start doing YOUR work!" (that's why I love this lady). Or, "she is always getting us in trouble!". So her idea of a chore chart works like this: I give each kid chores every day and they must be done by a certain time. I typed them out and posted them on the fridge. When they're done, they put a little check mark by the job. The beauty of this is.....I say NOTHING to remind them. That's right. And it's not as easy as it sounds. I'm used to nagging, reminding, scolding and harrassing them into their chores. We started this on Spring Break, so it was easier because they had all day to do something that probably should only take about 30-40 minutes total. Holland thought it would cease once he went back to school. It took them about a week to get into the rhythm of it. The chores had to be done by dinner time. ("I'll be happy to get you dinner, just as soon as your chores are done!") That did NOT go over well when I did that. But the next night, Holland had his chores done before dinner. We were all sitting around eating while he was cleaning the floor under our feet. NOT a happy camper.
The other thing about the chore chart is they can earn $5 a week for the chores if they're done on time. And an extra $2 for having their rooms clean. At the end of each day, I come in and swoop up everything they've left lying around (shoes, socks, toys, whatever that belongs to them) and stuff it in a bag. On Saturday, they must buy back everything that belongs to them for 10 cents per item. (It's called "The Saturday Bag". Kinda catchy.) They also have the opportunity to lose money by lying, being disrespectful, not completing the chore on time. They also get more chores by not finishing the chores. I had a meeting after doing the chore chart for a couple weeks and mentioned to the therapist that Holland had decided that it wasn't really worth it to him to do his chores for $7 a week. She just laughed and said, "Well, you tell him 'that's fine. You can do them for money during the week, but I'm just as happy to have them done for free on Saturday!' " She's so clever I just can't keep up.
So we are plugging away at the chore chart. I can tell it's having the desired affect on Holland (even if it's painfully slow). He came home from school, after having a horrible morning getting ready for school and getting on the bus. He walked right in the door and wanted to know his repair work. He had committed some pretty serious offenses, and wasn't able to finish all of the repair work that day (it was Grandma's birthday and we were going out to dinner), so the next morning at
8, he showed me a small bucket of weeds he had pulled to finish off his repair work. I was quite impressed and said he had completed his work and I felt blessed. Gave him a hug and let him get back on the computer.
Geez this parenting stuff is hard.
Enter the new therapist. She's had some great ideas. The kids have dubbed her the "repair doctor". And it's not uttered in a nice way when they find out where I'm going for an appointment. They say things like, "I don't like her! She tells you things like we have to start doing YOUR work!" (that's why I love this lady). Or, "she is always getting us in trouble!". So her idea of a chore chart works like this: I give each kid chores every day and they must be done by a certain time. I typed them out and posted them on the fridge. When they're done, they put a little check mark by the job. The beauty of this is.....I say NOTHING to remind them. That's right. And it's not as easy as it sounds. I'm used to nagging, reminding, scolding and harrassing them into their chores. We started this on Spring Break, so it was easier because they had all day to do something that probably should only take about 30-40 minutes total. Holland thought it would cease once he went back to school. It took them about a week to get into the rhythm of it. The chores had to be done by dinner time. ("I'll be happy to get you dinner, just as soon as your chores are done!") That did NOT go over well when I did that. But the next night, Holland had his chores done before dinner. We were all sitting around eating while he was cleaning the floor under our feet. NOT a happy camper.
The other thing about the chore chart is they can earn $5 a week for the chores if they're done on time. And an extra $2 for having their rooms clean. At the end of each day, I come in and swoop up everything they've left lying around (shoes, socks, toys, whatever that belongs to them) and stuff it in a bag. On Saturday, they must buy back everything that belongs to them for 10 cents per item. (It's called "The Saturday Bag". Kinda catchy.) They also have the opportunity to lose money by lying, being disrespectful, not completing the chore on time. They also get more chores by not finishing the chores. I had a meeting after doing the chore chart for a couple weeks and mentioned to the therapist that Holland had decided that it wasn't really worth it to him to do his chores for $7 a week. She just laughed and said, "Well, you tell him 'that's fine. You can do them for money during the week, but I'm just as happy to have them done for free on Saturday!' " She's so clever I just can't keep up.
So we are plugging away at the chore chart. I can tell it's having the desired affect on Holland (even if it's painfully slow). He came home from school, after having a horrible morning getting ready for school and getting on the bus. He walked right in the door and wanted to know his repair work. He had committed some pretty serious offenses, and wasn't able to finish all of the repair work that day (it was Grandma's birthday and we were going out to dinner), so the next morning at
8, he showed me a small bucket of weeds he had pulled to finish off his repair work. I was quite impressed and said he had completed his work and I felt blessed. Gave him a hug and let him get back on the computer.
Geez this parenting stuff is hard.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Mrs. Stretchy
Today it's Saturday. It's one of those days where you are being stretched in 8 different directions, but there are only 5 people in the family and you are thinking 'how is that even possible?' I do a lot of that kind of thinking because the sanity is being sucked out of my brain. And if I don't talk to myself, then it's proof that I've lost my wits.
A few weeks ago I had planned for a haircut and to get my hair colored. Romania was having his last basketball game and pizza party. That was it. My appointment was at 8 in the morning and Romania's game was at 11.45. Plenty of time to do both things and then come home and relax in the afternoon. *snort* Why would I EVER think that would happen?! Within the last week, we added a photoshoot for Egypt and two funerals. We also had to contend with Holland not wanting to be doing any of the things we needed to do. I postponed my color and kept the haircut. Came back and picked up Egypt for her photoshoot at 10. Meanwhile, Super Hero got the boys ready for Romania's game and pizza party and Holland was dropped at my mom's house where (unbeknownst to him) he was also attending a funeral for a dear friend who died last Sunday. Super Hero went to the game with Romania and got back about an hour after I arrived home from the photoshoot. My mom then called and said the funeral was over, but Holland didn't want to ride the tram in Portland, so they would just bring him home. Romania didn't want to go to his pizza party so he stayed home and my parents took Egypt on the tram ride.
Confused yet? Yeah. Me either. I've got it all figured out. Also, my sister is gone for the weekend and I have to bring all her teaching stuff to the co-op on Monday. Plus bring (and MAKE snacks) and I'll probably make something for her, too since she had snack but didn't realize she was going to be gone. Egypt has basketball practice Monday night. I have another appointment with the therapist on Tuesday. Wednesday it's Awanas. Thursday I have to pick up Holland early from school and we both have doctor appointments. Friday is a special Bunco night for a friend who moved to the east coast a few years back that used to be in our group. Somewhere in there I need to plan meals, organize the school week, actually TEACH school and conquer Holland's horrible defiance and disobedience.
Currently I'm interviewing for positions available. The pay is minimal (none). But when you're done you can write a book on your experience and there'll be nothing like it out there.
A few weeks ago I had planned for a haircut and to get my hair colored. Romania was having his last basketball game and pizza party. That was it. My appointment was at 8 in the morning and Romania's game was at 11.45. Plenty of time to do both things and then come home and relax in the afternoon. *snort* Why would I EVER think that would happen?! Within the last week, we added a photoshoot for Egypt and two funerals. We also had to contend with Holland not wanting to be doing any of the things we needed to do. I postponed my color and kept the haircut. Came back and picked up Egypt for her photoshoot at 10. Meanwhile, Super Hero got the boys ready for Romania's game and pizza party and Holland was dropped at my mom's house where (unbeknownst to him) he was also attending a funeral for a dear friend who died last Sunday. Super Hero went to the game with Romania and got back about an hour after I arrived home from the photoshoot. My mom then called and said the funeral was over, but Holland didn't want to ride the tram in Portland, so they would just bring him home. Romania didn't want to go to his pizza party so he stayed home and my parents took Egypt on the tram ride.
Confused yet? Yeah. Me either. I've got it all figured out. Also, my sister is gone for the weekend and I have to bring all her teaching stuff to the co-op on Monday. Plus bring (and MAKE snacks) and I'll probably make something for her, too since she had snack but didn't realize she was going to be gone. Egypt has basketball practice Monday night. I have another appointment with the therapist on Tuesday. Wednesday it's Awanas. Thursday I have to pick up Holland early from school and we both have doctor appointments. Friday is a special Bunco night for a friend who moved to the east coast a few years back that used to be in our group. Somewhere in there I need to plan meals, organize the school week, actually TEACH school and conquer Holland's horrible defiance and disobedience.
Currently I'm interviewing for positions available. The pay is minimal (none). But when you're done you can write a book on your experience and there'll be nothing like it out there.
Friday, January 20, 2012
This is for you, Kris
This is for my friend Kris, who says I never update my blog. I'm updating RIGHT now.
So I'm seeing a new therapist for Holland and I have to say I'm loving all the housework I'm getting done. I just put my feet up and, BAM! three little punks argue with each other and then are sucked into the housework vortex. The new rule is if any of them argue, fight, hit, don't do a chore or something they're asked to in a timely manner, or general naughtiness, I assign "repair work". They have to repair our relationship by performing housework or chores for me. They all love it so much. Each one has complained that it does nothing for them. I say so sweetly that it's not meant to help them, but to repair my relationship with them.
The first time Holland really broke the rule by hitting me, an automatic hour, he had to pick up everything he had trashed and then do his repair work. I made a list and just propped my feet up on the couch and played on my phone. See, the key is delivery. The therapist says my reaction plays a huge part in getting Holland's behavior to improve. Now, I already knew this, but it's getting to that point that was the hard part. When you are faced with a kid who complains and yells from the moment he wakes up until he goes to bed; who you are in constant fear of him hitting you or hitting his siblings; or destroying something in the house, then it gets really tiring trying to stay calm and pleasant in that kind of environment. My reaction is supposed to be "oh, honey, first you need to do your repair work, and then I'd be happy to let you do the computer." It was interesting, though, this first time he had an hour's worth of work. By the end of the hour, he was chatting pleasantly, asking me things, crossing the jobs off the list. I was totally ready to give him the priviledges back.
Still, he gripes and complains every time we start a new repair work session. He's adament he's NOT going to do it. I just let him wander around and when he tries to do something like the computer, or tv, I physically block him and say sweetly, "remember your repair work and then you're free to do the computer". He gets so mad and tells me to stop talking in "that" voice. It makes me want to laugh because he's totally noticing the difference! I've had to also make him wait to eat dinner because he had done something and of course that meant me stopping eating as well. That's the fun part. I get to suspend whatever I'm doing and make sure he's doing the work. He can get very controlling over meal time. With the gluten free diet, my cooking has changed quite a bit. He doesn't always like what I cook and many times I've just let him make himself something to avoid the argument. The new therapist probably wanted to crawl out of her skin when I told her that. "No, no, no, dear. He eats what you all eat." "I know, but he physically pushes me around and tries to eat something else." "Then you stand in front of him and prevent him from getting it." So here I am in the kitchen, trying to wrestle away food from an almost 13 year-old who won't eat chicken tortilla soup! It's nuts. But, after a few times of this, he did sit down and munch on a few things. Cried the entire time. Made dinner so pleasant. What chef doesn't want their patrons to cry over their meal as a way to thank them?
My favorite repair work was the time he had to sweep both the kitchen and nook floors. Then I had him on his hands and knees mopping just the kitchen floor. When he was done, he asked what he should do with the water. I said, "oh, just leave it on the counter. You'll probably need it later." Sure enough, he needed it. When he had to clean the nook floor, he picked up the bowl of used soapy water and said, "is it okay if it's cold?" " Oh SURE!", I said. Then today, his repair work involved washing all the doors, inside and out. Then I had him wash every single post going up the stairs and the whole molding from top to bottom. Nice and shiny now.
Just waiting for who'll mess up tomorrow so I can get something else cleaned.
So I'm seeing a new therapist for Holland and I have to say I'm loving all the housework I'm getting done. I just put my feet up and, BAM! three little punks argue with each other and then are sucked into the housework vortex. The new rule is if any of them argue, fight, hit, don't do a chore or something they're asked to in a timely manner, or general naughtiness, I assign "repair work". They have to repair our relationship by performing housework or chores for me. They all love it so much. Each one has complained that it does nothing for them. I say so sweetly that it's not meant to help them, but to repair my relationship with them.
The first time Holland really broke the rule by hitting me, an automatic hour, he had to pick up everything he had trashed and then do his repair work. I made a list and just propped my feet up on the couch and played on my phone. See, the key is delivery. The therapist says my reaction plays a huge part in getting Holland's behavior to improve. Now, I already knew this, but it's getting to that point that was the hard part. When you are faced with a kid who complains and yells from the moment he wakes up until he goes to bed; who you are in constant fear of him hitting you or hitting his siblings; or destroying something in the house, then it gets really tiring trying to stay calm and pleasant in that kind of environment. My reaction is supposed to be "oh, honey, first you need to do your repair work, and then I'd be happy to let you do the computer." It was interesting, though, this first time he had an hour's worth of work. By the end of the hour, he was chatting pleasantly, asking me things, crossing the jobs off the list. I was totally ready to give him the priviledges back.
Still, he gripes and complains every time we start a new repair work session. He's adament he's NOT going to do it. I just let him wander around and when he tries to do something like the computer, or tv, I physically block him and say sweetly, "remember your repair work and then you're free to do the computer". He gets so mad and tells me to stop talking in "that" voice. It makes me want to laugh because he's totally noticing the difference! I've had to also make him wait to eat dinner because he had done something and of course that meant me stopping eating as well. That's the fun part. I get to suspend whatever I'm doing and make sure he's doing the work. He can get very controlling over meal time. With the gluten free diet, my cooking has changed quite a bit. He doesn't always like what I cook and many times I've just let him make himself something to avoid the argument. The new therapist probably wanted to crawl out of her skin when I told her that. "No, no, no, dear. He eats what you all eat." "I know, but he physically pushes me around and tries to eat something else." "Then you stand in front of him and prevent him from getting it." So here I am in the kitchen, trying to wrestle away food from an almost 13 year-old who won't eat chicken tortilla soup! It's nuts. But, after a few times of this, he did sit down and munch on a few things. Cried the entire time. Made dinner so pleasant. What chef doesn't want their patrons to cry over their meal as a way to thank them?
My favorite repair work was the time he had to sweep both the kitchen and nook floors. Then I had him on his hands and knees mopping just the kitchen floor. When he was done, he asked what he should do with the water. I said, "oh, just leave it on the counter. You'll probably need it later." Sure enough, he needed it. When he had to clean the nook floor, he picked up the bowl of used soapy water and said, "is it okay if it's cold?" " Oh SURE!", I said. Then today, his repair work involved washing all the doors, inside and out. Then I had him wash every single post going up the stairs and the whole molding from top to bottom. Nice and shiny now.
Just waiting for who'll mess up tomorrow so I can get something else cleaned.
Monday, January 16, 2012
So long, Betty
It only took one more day for Betty to get snatched up by some nice gentleman that I assume was going to treat her nice. He probably had a toasty warm house all ready for her. Some ice cream for her freezer. Some milk and yogurt for her fridge. Who am I kidding? You could tell the moment he drove up in his dumpty Toyota truck that he was going to recycle every last piece of her. But he humored me in an email on Saturday morning and said he'd love to "come pick up the ol' gal and give her a new home". I'm just glad she's out of my driveway and no more little kids are wandering around our property looking for ways to get stuck inside an old fridge.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Betty
You've got to hand it to craigslist. You meet - or more often than not, DON'T meet -some very interesting people. We've put ads on before. Sometimes things are for sale and sometimes things are for free. I've discovered that it doesn't matter if money is involved, or something is free, there are flakes from both neighborhoods.
Recently I posted about a free refrigerator that we have had since the beginning of time. Well, the beginning of OUR time, which is 20 years. When Super Hero bought our first house, it came equipped with this fabulous retro fridge. Don't get excited. In this case retro just means old. The thing was pitiful. It was so old that the freezer was inside the fridge part. It had these wonky shelves that bowed when you put a gallon of milk on them. And the freezer just accumulated ice so quickly it was a pain to defrost. The space just kept shrinking and shrinking every time we opened it. I think the food actually froze inside the ice at some point. When we sold the house though, a nice new fridge took Betty's place, and since that's what the new homeowner saw, we couldn't do a switch with Betty and had to bring her with us.
We've moved several times and she's been in our garage here for about 14 years. My mom finally took pity on us and just gave us the fridge she bought on craigslist last summer for when my brother and his family came to visit. Their brood took over the "Barn" where we grew up and it only made sense to have a fridge in there for them and their six kids. I really do need the second fridge because I have to store all the different gluten free flours there. Otherwise the moths keep getting it and then I have to gut the pantry. And, well, that's just not how I want to spend ANY day.
Super Hero moved Betty to the driveway. (Side note here: he does NOT know that I named her. Let's just leave that dog alone.) One of my VERY concerned neighbors (and if you know me, you know this is exactly the opposite of what I mean) came over to tell me that I needed to put this big lock on it so kids wouldn't climb into it. And he sure hoped the police didn't come by and see it. Helpful, right? So I looked online for a way to get rid of Betty. Recycling is a waste of time. They try to lure you with 40 bucks. Sounds great, right? Don't be fooled. I'm here to school ya. You have to clean the fridge (um, no thanks), make sure your fridge meets the size requirements (yeah, it's probably within that size range, sir), make an appointment to have someone come out and inspect your unit, has to be plugged in and shown to be working (???), and then you have to show that you've replace that unit with an "Energy Efficient" model. I don't even know what that means. What, is there some big label on the side of appliances that says 'I'm energy efficient'? So, yeah, not really worth 40 bucks.
That's where the craigslist ad comes in. I thought I'd be all clever and try to get people's attention. I mean, reading ads on craigslist is like reading a phone book. Here's the ad (I'm just pasting what I wrote because when I take the ad down, it likely will disappear)
Find Betty the Refrigerator a New Home (Oregon City)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2012-01-11, 2:09PM PST
Reply to: sale-sa7uu-2795146952@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We've traveled far with this refrigerator and it's time to find Betty a new home. She's probably 60 years old, so you figure out what her new purpose is. Her freezer is inside the fridge part (so don't tell her if you're just using her for her parts) She's sitting in our driveway attracting small children, so we need her to move on as soon as possible.
Within an hour I had 5 people lined up and ready to haul her off. Of course for some reason I felt the need to go in order and be all diplomatic about it. So I offered it to the first person. She thought I was in Molalla. Which you can clearly see by the title, that I am NOT in Molalla. The third guy is the first person who used Betty's name. He said, "call Manny to come get Betty the freezer" and immediately I fell in love with him. But alas, he was third on the list. So I emailed the second guy. Who turned out to be quite needy and wanted a picture and phone call. Excuse me. This fridge is free and yeah, it's free. By this time I'm irritated that people are so demanding for a free refrigerator and should be begging me, not making all these requirements of me. I did get two cute emails last night, both from women. They both said that although they weren't interested in Betty, they thought it was the "cutest" and "cleverest" ad they'd ever seen on craigslist. Awww. Just here to throw a smile your way and to prevent the boredome of reading a phone book.
So. This morning, I penned an email (can I say "penned" when referring to an email? I think there might be a need for a new word in the dictionary), and sent it to I think 9 people who had inquired about Betty. I loved all who referred to her by name. Here's the email I sent:
Good Morning!
I appreciate all the emails regarding finding Betty a new home. There have been several no-shows and Betty is getting awfully cold out there. She belongs to the first person that finds his or her way over to rescue her from the elements.
Good luck soldiers.
So far no one has ventured over here. Maybe I scared them off with my demands :-)
Who knows, with craigslist. It's a strange new world out there.
Recently I posted about a free refrigerator that we have had since the beginning of time. Well, the beginning of OUR time, which is 20 years. When Super Hero bought our first house, it came equipped with this fabulous retro fridge. Don't get excited. In this case retro just means old. The thing was pitiful. It was so old that the freezer was inside the fridge part. It had these wonky shelves that bowed when you put a gallon of milk on them. And the freezer just accumulated ice so quickly it was a pain to defrost. The space just kept shrinking and shrinking every time we opened it. I think the food actually froze inside the ice at some point. When we sold the house though, a nice new fridge took Betty's place, and since that's what the new homeowner saw, we couldn't do a switch with Betty and had to bring her with us.
We've moved several times and she's been in our garage here for about 14 years. My mom finally took pity on us and just gave us the fridge she bought on craigslist last summer for when my brother and his family came to visit. Their brood took over the "Barn" where we grew up and it only made sense to have a fridge in there for them and their six kids. I really do need the second fridge because I have to store all the different gluten free flours there. Otherwise the moths keep getting it and then I have to gut the pantry. And, well, that's just not how I want to spend ANY day.
Super Hero moved Betty to the driveway. (Side note here: he does NOT know that I named her. Let's just leave that dog alone.) One of my VERY concerned neighbors (and if you know me, you know this is exactly the opposite of what I mean) came over to tell me that I needed to put this big lock on it so kids wouldn't climb into it. And he sure hoped the police didn't come by and see it. Helpful, right? So I looked online for a way to get rid of Betty. Recycling is a waste of time. They try to lure you with 40 bucks. Sounds great, right? Don't be fooled. I'm here to school ya. You have to clean the fridge (um, no thanks), make sure your fridge meets the size requirements (yeah, it's probably within that size range, sir), make an appointment to have someone come out and inspect your unit, has to be plugged in and shown to be working (???), and then you have to show that you've replace that unit with an "Energy Efficient" model. I don't even know what that means. What, is there some big label on the side of appliances that says 'I'm energy efficient'? So, yeah, not really worth 40 bucks.
That's where the craigslist ad comes in. I thought I'd be all clever and try to get people's attention. I mean, reading ads on craigslist is like reading a phone book. Here's the ad (I'm just pasting what I wrote because when I take the ad down, it likely will disappear)
Find Betty the Refrigerator a New Home (Oregon City)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2012-01-11, 2:09PM PST
Reply to: sale-sa7uu-2795146952@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We've traveled far with this refrigerator and it's time to find Betty a new home. She's probably 60 years old, so you figure out what her new purpose is. Her freezer is inside the fridge part (so don't tell her if you're just using her for her parts) She's sitting in our driveway attracting small children, so we need her to move on as soon as possible.
Within an hour I had 5 people lined up and ready to haul her off. Of course for some reason I felt the need to go in order and be all diplomatic about it. So I offered it to the first person. She thought I was in Molalla. Which you can clearly see by the title, that I am NOT in Molalla. The third guy is the first person who used Betty's name. He said, "call Manny to come get Betty the freezer" and immediately I fell in love with him. But alas, he was third on the list. So I emailed the second guy. Who turned out to be quite needy and wanted a picture and phone call. Excuse me. This fridge is free and yeah, it's free. By this time I'm irritated that people are so demanding for a free refrigerator and should be begging me, not making all these requirements of me. I did get two cute emails last night, both from women. They both said that although they weren't interested in Betty, they thought it was the "cutest" and "cleverest" ad they'd ever seen on craigslist. Awww. Just here to throw a smile your way and to prevent the boredome of reading a phone book.
So. This morning, I penned an email (can I say "penned" when referring to an email? I think there might be a need for a new word in the dictionary), and sent it to I think 9 people who had inquired about Betty. I loved all who referred to her by name. Here's the email I sent:
Good Morning!
I appreciate all the emails regarding finding Betty a new home. There have been several no-shows and Betty is getting awfully cold out there. She belongs to the first person that finds his or her way over to rescue her from the elements.
Good luck soldiers.
So far no one has ventured over here. Maybe I scared them off with my demands :-)
Who knows, with craigslist. It's a strange new world out there.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
It Must Be Christmas
I don't have to look at the calendar to know it's Christmas. It has nothing to do with shopping, or cold weather or putting up decorations. No. In our family it's about getting sick. It's all about getting violently sick. About a week before Christmas, I heard a noise in the middle of the night. I just assumed it was Holland. He's famous for getting up in the middle of the night. Then I hear this knock on my door and it's Romania saying he'd just thrown up. He did that probably three more times before morning and then just hung out on the couch all day. At one point, Egypt got him a big plastic bowl in case he didn't make it off the couch. He almost didn't, but luckily each time he was able to hold it til he got there. He wanted to eat so badly, but kept throwing it up. He was pretty wasted the rest of the day, but slept good. The next day he seemed to have improved, but I wouldn't let him do anything for fear of the next wave of nausea.
Then about 2 days later, my mom took the three kids out to see a movie. When I picked them up to go grab some food, Egypt kept complaining about not feeling good. She said her tummy hurt. I said it's probably just because you're hungry. We were at McDonald's. Now when a child doesn't feel like eating McDonald's, stop. And think about it. That's not what I did. I said, "oh you'll feel better after you eat something" and continued to order food. She looks at me, her face almost green and says she needs to go to the bathroom. So I had my mom finish the ordering and took her to the bathroom inside the play area. We barely made it into the bathroom and she vomited right into the toilet. Great aim, I tell 'ya. She kept apologizing and I just told her it was alright. She didn't have to apologize for being sick! So I came out of the bathroom and told mom to have them pack all the food up and we needed to go home. She threw up probably 4 or 5 more times that day. She was better by the next day, but just like Romania, I wouldn't let her do anything else. Did I mention that this whole time I was sick? Not the throwing up kind. Let's just leave it at that.
Then, right on cue about two days later and right in time for Christmas, Holland got sick. Throwing up, not wanting to eat anything, but hungry and complaining about everything. He's not a very fun sick person. Egypt apologizes. Romania cries and sleeps and Holland just gets grumpier. Didn't think THAT was possible.
I missed Christmas Eve service at church because I was so wiped out from all the taking care of everyone that I hadn't recovered. I also decided to stay home from the in-law's traditional "let's-eat-out-of-small-tea-lit-bowls-of-oil-with-16-people-who-are-all-trying-to-cook-tiny-pieces-of-meat" fiasco. Not to mention that we were told to feed the kids BEFORE coming to enjoy dinner. That makes as much sense as inviting people over for a birthday celebration and telling them to bring their own cake. I'm thinking next year we'll just bring pizza for us while they stand around with their tiny pieces of meat. Can you tell this isn't the first time this has happened?
So Christmas is over. Whew. Everyone is better. Oh wait. Now we're on round two of the sickness. It has mutated into something different. No more throwing up. But now it's coughing, fever, congestion. I just love the holidays. It's the only way I can tell it's flu season.
Then about 2 days later, my mom took the three kids out to see a movie. When I picked them up to go grab some food, Egypt kept complaining about not feeling good. She said her tummy hurt. I said it's probably just because you're hungry. We were at McDonald's. Now when a child doesn't feel like eating McDonald's, stop. And think about it. That's not what I did. I said, "oh you'll feel better after you eat something" and continued to order food. She looks at me, her face almost green and says she needs to go to the bathroom. So I had my mom finish the ordering and took her to the bathroom inside the play area. We barely made it into the bathroom and she vomited right into the toilet. Great aim, I tell 'ya. She kept apologizing and I just told her it was alright. She didn't have to apologize for being sick! So I came out of the bathroom and told mom to have them pack all the food up and we needed to go home. She threw up probably 4 or 5 more times that day. She was better by the next day, but just like Romania, I wouldn't let her do anything else. Did I mention that this whole time I was sick? Not the throwing up kind. Let's just leave it at that.
Then, right on cue about two days later and right in time for Christmas, Holland got sick. Throwing up, not wanting to eat anything, but hungry and complaining about everything. He's not a very fun sick person. Egypt apologizes. Romania cries and sleeps and Holland just gets grumpier. Didn't think THAT was possible.
I missed Christmas Eve service at church because I was so wiped out from all the taking care of everyone that I hadn't recovered. I also decided to stay home from the in-law's traditional "let's-eat-out-of-small-tea-lit-bowls-of-oil-with-16-people-who-are-all-trying-to-cook-tiny-pieces-of-meat" fiasco. Not to mention that we were told to feed the kids BEFORE coming to enjoy dinner. That makes as much sense as inviting people over for a birthday celebration and telling them to bring their own cake. I'm thinking next year we'll just bring pizza for us while they stand around with their tiny pieces of meat. Can you tell this isn't the first time this has happened?
So Christmas is over. Whew. Everyone is better. Oh wait. Now we're on round two of the sickness. It has mutated into something different. No more throwing up. But now it's coughing, fever, congestion. I just love the holidays. It's the only way I can tell it's flu season.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Changes
I really try to update more often. When I finally get around to updating, there's so much to say, that I feel it's necessary to leave things out - lest you get bored and stop reading!
We've had some pretty rough times. Times I'd like to forget, but they did happen. We had to call the police for the second time. Holland became enraged with something Romania did and threw his brand new Nintendo 3DS and broke it. After trying to separate them, Holland ending up pushing me down the stairs. Super Hero got the phone for me and I called 911. The entire phone call, Holland was hanging on my back trying to get me to hang up. Two cars were here within minutes and the four officers were amazing. They talked with him and with the other two kids, holed up in Romania's room, but nothing was really done. He was calm by the time they arrived. They advised me on residential treatment and said to call them without hesitation if it happened again. For several weeks, I was considering residential and had called my insurance and several places to see the process for admitting him.
Hard to believe I actually got to the point of needing and wanting to place him somewhere, but I was feeling so unsafe.
While continuing to do school with Egypt and Romania, I would spend a lot of time online researching Reactive Attachment Disorder. I was led to website after website. Books, names of people, methods and researchers on the topic. I had pursued this before, but the only person I had found, was not on my insurance. And they wanted me to come in everyday for months. I could just not afford that - time or money. Then one day last week, I found the name of a website called ATTACh. I couldn't tell if it was for professionals or actually a resource for parents to find someone to help them. I found someone listed for Oregon and shot an email. Not even knowing if the list was current or not. The same person actually emailed me back that same afternoon and said she was the contact person and could speak to me and gave me her number. We played phone tag for a few days, but when I actually did talk to her, I knew she was the exact right person we have been looking for. All the things I described for her were exactly things she saw in many of her other patients. Nothing freaked her out - although she was worried for my safety. There were two glitches: the first was she was going out of town for two weeks to help out in Haiti with all the adoptions after the earthquake there; the second was, she's not an in-network provider on my insurance. After speaking with my insurance, I found out it was going to cost quite a bit to see her each time. I asked for an exception to be made since she was a specialist and I could not find anyone in-network that dealt with RAD. The insurance explained that the doctor would have to do that (I can see why doctors do NOT like dealing with insurances! She doesn't have time to do that kind of thing).
Well, the Lord moves in mysterious (and sometimes painfully slow!) ways. Every year it seems, Super Hero's insurance gets changed. We go through finding a new psychiatrist, finding a new therapist. It's just awful starting all over. I would get so irritated because, hey, I want to save money, but it's just so hard to find a doctor in the first place. But to find a NEW one every year that specializes in what we need is so near impossible! I found out two days ago that yet again, we are changing insurances. I was trying not to get upset. Praying that we would get to keep the gastroenterologist; the pediatric rheumatologist; the pediatric opthamologist; the psychiatrist. The person that helps read through all the insurance plans to decide the best coverage has been so nice to us - and emailed Super Hero to ask him specifically what were the doctors we needed on the plan. I emailed him a list and included the therapist that I wanted, that wasn't currently covered. I just found out, that she is on the new plan! I could hardly believe it. I almost don't want to believe it, in case it's a different Blue Cross plan or something! So, I might just wait until the new year to start up with the new therapist. Seems like a life time away, but might be easier with all the out-of-network billing.
The other big news is that finally Holland got a new school placement. We had been waiting since the beginning of the school year. I just went yesterday to a placement meeting. They are going to start slowly introducing him to the program and then by Thanksgiving week, he'll be there at least one day full time. It can't come soon enough! And the other good thing-the new school is about 3 minutes from our house. It's actually at the building where we did a homeschooling co-op several years ago. He's totally familiar with the building. No more hour or even half hour bus ride. I'll just have to shift things in my mind that my day ends at 2 instead of 2.45!
We've had some pretty rough times. Times I'd like to forget, but they did happen. We had to call the police for the second time. Holland became enraged with something Romania did and threw his brand new Nintendo 3DS and broke it. After trying to separate them, Holland ending up pushing me down the stairs. Super Hero got the phone for me and I called 911. The entire phone call, Holland was hanging on my back trying to get me to hang up. Two cars were here within minutes and the four officers were amazing. They talked with him and with the other two kids, holed up in Romania's room, but nothing was really done. He was calm by the time they arrived. They advised me on residential treatment and said to call them without hesitation if it happened again. For several weeks, I was considering residential and had called my insurance and several places to see the process for admitting him.
Hard to believe I actually got to the point of needing and wanting to place him somewhere, but I was feeling so unsafe.
While continuing to do school with Egypt and Romania, I would spend a lot of time online researching Reactive Attachment Disorder. I was led to website after website. Books, names of people, methods and researchers on the topic. I had pursued this before, but the only person I had found, was not on my insurance. And they wanted me to come in everyday for months. I could just not afford that - time or money. Then one day last week, I found the name of a website called ATTACh. I couldn't tell if it was for professionals or actually a resource for parents to find someone to help them. I found someone listed for Oregon and shot an email. Not even knowing if the list was current or not. The same person actually emailed me back that same afternoon and said she was the contact person and could speak to me and gave me her number. We played phone tag for a few days, but when I actually did talk to her, I knew she was the exact right person we have been looking for. All the things I described for her were exactly things she saw in many of her other patients. Nothing freaked her out - although she was worried for my safety. There were two glitches: the first was she was going out of town for two weeks to help out in Haiti with all the adoptions after the earthquake there; the second was, she's not an in-network provider on my insurance. After speaking with my insurance, I found out it was going to cost quite a bit to see her each time. I asked for an exception to be made since she was a specialist and I could not find anyone in-network that dealt with RAD. The insurance explained that the doctor would have to do that (I can see why doctors do NOT like dealing with insurances! She doesn't have time to do that kind of thing).
Well, the Lord moves in mysterious (and sometimes painfully slow!) ways. Every year it seems, Super Hero's insurance gets changed. We go through finding a new psychiatrist, finding a new therapist. It's just awful starting all over. I would get so irritated because, hey, I want to save money, but it's just so hard to find a doctor in the first place. But to find a NEW one every year that specializes in what we need is so near impossible! I found out two days ago that yet again, we are changing insurances. I was trying not to get upset. Praying that we would get to keep the gastroenterologist; the pediatric rheumatologist; the pediatric opthamologist; the psychiatrist. The person that helps read through all the insurance plans to decide the best coverage has been so nice to us - and emailed Super Hero to ask him specifically what were the doctors we needed on the plan. I emailed him a list and included the therapist that I wanted, that wasn't currently covered. I just found out, that she is on the new plan! I could hardly believe it. I almost don't want to believe it, in case it's a different Blue Cross plan or something! So, I might just wait until the new year to start up with the new therapist. Seems like a life time away, but might be easier with all the out-of-network billing.
The other big news is that finally Holland got a new school placement. We had been waiting since the beginning of the school year. I just went yesterday to a placement meeting. They are going to start slowly introducing him to the program and then by Thanksgiving week, he'll be there at least one day full time. It can't come soon enough! And the other good thing-the new school is about 3 minutes from our house. It's actually at the building where we did a homeschooling co-op several years ago. He's totally familiar with the building. No more hour or even half hour bus ride. I'll just have to shift things in my mind that my day ends at 2 instead of 2.45!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
A New Ride
I've stirred the pot again. I agonized all summer about what to do with Romania for school this year. He's been at the charter school since the middle of first grade. Now he's going into 5th grade. I did not know where Holland would be attending school for the whole year. Since school staff take the summer off, nothing is ever decided until the new school year starts. He has aged out of his current placement, but we are in limbo waiting for the new school to have a spot for him. What was so hard last year was the different schedule times of the boys' schools. I would drop Romania at the bus hub, race back home to get Holland in his ride to school. Then he got home at 3 and then I had to wait until 4 to leave to pick up Romania. I was sick of leaving the house every day. But homeschooling two students, especially one that hasn't been home since he was 6, was a huge decision to make.
I made a list of pros and cons for both. That helped me to see better what I was thinking and why. Even though sending him somewhere to be educated seemed easier, I wasn't just worried about his education. I was worried about his heart. He is surrounded by so much turmoil at home. And he was coming home from school so tired, so stressed out from the long day, and not wanting to do anything expect sit and watch tv. It was hard to spend one-on-one time with him and encourage him in the way he should go.
So all the deliberating turned into a decision and I started ordering curriculum. I started to get excited about what we were going to be able to study. When I had Holland home, I found this wonderful literature-based history study. Holland loved it. I just kept putting books on hold at the library and we read as much as we could. When I decided to homeschool Romania again, I was excited to start another of the books with him. The bookstore where I go has a great selection, and the staff is well versed in the different varieties of curriculums, subjects and programs. Turns out on the day I went to buy the history book, they had just that morning received the newest book in this series called "Beginnings" As the book says, "The Grand Unveiling of human history". And boy are they right. Just the couple days that we have read it, the Bible is coming to life. I am having trouble finding the resources she is recommending, but I kind of figured that since it's a Biblical study of history. Hopefully I can find enough to fill us up!
I can tell my next few posts will be about our new adventure in homeschooling!
I made a list of pros and cons for both. That helped me to see better what I was thinking and why. Even though sending him somewhere to be educated seemed easier, I wasn't just worried about his education. I was worried about his heart. He is surrounded by so much turmoil at home. And he was coming home from school so tired, so stressed out from the long day, and not wanting to do anything expect sit and watch tv. It was hard to spend one-on-one time with him and encourage him in the way he should go.
So all the deliberating turned into a decision and I started ordering curriculum. I started to get excited about what we were going to be able to study. When I had Holland home, I found this wonderful literature-based history study. Holland loved it. I just kept putting books on hold at the library and we read as much as we could. When I decided to homeschool Romania again, I was excited to start another of the books with him. The bookstore where I go has a great selection, and the staff is well versed in the different varieties of curriculums, subjects and programs. Turns out on the day I went to buy the history book, they had just that morning received the newest book in this series called "Beginnings" As the book says, "The Grand Unveiling of human history". And boy are they right. Just the couple days that we have read it, the Bible is coming to life. I am having trouble finding the resources she is recommending, but I kind of figured that since it's a Biblical study of history. Hopefully I can find enough to fill us up!
I can tell my next few posts will be about our new adventure in homeschooling!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
If you've never heard of Pinterest, you're missing out. I discovered this about 6 months ago and it is the most brilliant idea. It's a place to "pin" things that interest you. Each person decides what they want to bookmark, name the category and organize projects, ideas for things, books, food, whatever you find interesting. You can follow people you like and they can follow you. You can easily search for things, too. Like tonight I was looking for an idea for a fabric garland to decorate Egypt's room. Boom. Search for fabric garland and tons of pins popped up. Everything from wedding decor, birthday parties, outdoor garlands, tutorials and even different shapes of garlands. It's so much easier than following a blog (by the way - thanks for reading mine!). It's actually a great way to find different blogs because the pin takes you right to the original link.
If you want to check out Pinterest, you can "follow" me. My username is "hmarineau".
Happy Pinning!
If you want to check out Pinterest, you can "follow" me. My username is "hmarineau".
Happy Pinning!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
He's a Middle Schooler
Ok - I officially had a middle schooler last year, but he wasn't that excited about doing middle-schooler-type things. Yesterday he made it more official by going to his first middle school retreat with kids from our church. A wonderful family has a house on the Clackamas River and every year, opens their house (well, the boys get the barn) to the 6-8th graders at church. I have to interrupt myself and say that I recently got a new book from the library (darn those libraries with all their informative books) about Reactive Attachment Disorder, which shall be heretofore referred to as RAD. So I've come up with some handy-dandy ways to assert myself and attempt to change this child's behavior. And I forget - what have I been doing the past 12 years? Oh yeah - medicating him for bipolar when in fact the newest and bestest doctor says it's RAD and ADD. Love that I can abbreviate everything. Sounds so official instead of saying "yeah - my kid's got bipolar disorder".
The author of this book is very clever. She says that RAD kids do nutty things. Don't try to figure them out because they're just nutty things. They will NEVER make sense to you, so don't attempt to go figuring that out. I've decided that she's probably right. She's parented many foster and adopted kids with RAD, so she must know her stuff. Unlike all these fancy-schmancy doctors who've sat in an office for the past 20 years doling out diagnoses to kids and their parents. So, I'm not sure how much I'm going to share with you - because you'll probably be offended that I have a child that swears (he picked that up from the kids at his school) and picks at scabs. Ok - looks like the cat's out of the bag, so I might as well tell you all the funny things he does and how I've handled it. I have to add that the author talks about 12 things to do (not all at once - I'm not a miracle worker) and the first thing is to take care of myself. Get 10-12 hours of sleep. I actually stopped reading the book at this point. I thought "if this woman thinks I'm going to get that much sleep, there is no hope for me to ever get past step 2". But after picking myself up off the floor, I decided that it wouldn't hurt to figure out if her wisdom had any merit.
The first things I've tackled are the swearing (usually at me - it's always directed at the mom), and picking at scabs. The author says that kids swear for shock value (REALLY?!? I'm shocked! I did NOT know that) and that when you react in a shocked way, they've got the power. She says that I'm the queen (see why I like her?) and hubby is the king and the kid is maybe a royal subject. But probably closer to some sort of slave. Just kidding. The first thing you do when the child swears is say "oh sweetums, I see you need time to do some swearing. Just go in your room. Take 5 or 10 minutes and get all that swearing out. Then you can come back down and feel much better". I was appalled when I read this. You mean I'm giving him permission to swear? But I don't WANT him to swear!! I figured I should at least try the opposite of everything I've been doing. So yesterday after school, he decides to call me a few choice names when I tell him to go pack for the retreat. I said as sweetly as possible (another thing he is hating) "oh, Holland. I can see that you are weak and need to do some swearing. Just go upstairs, get it all out and then come back down." He looks at me with this blank stare and goes "I'm done." I tried not to fall off the couch and just thanked him for being done.
The second thing was the scab picking. Again - I am constantly telling him to stop picking at them. He's getting pimples, he picks them, they bleed, they scab over and then he picks them and we have to start all over again. I've been reduced to going into his room at night, rolling him over and putting zit cream on his face. Either that or Neosporyn. So yesterday on the way to the middle school retreat, he's sitting in the front seat, trying to hide that he's picking at it again. I look over and say (sweet, happy voice again) "hey - I've decided that you have created a new hobby and I'm going to help you out. I'll get a ziploc bag, you can go in your room and pick at the scabs, put them in the baggie and then you'll have a collection!" He immediately shouts "that's gross!" and stopped picking. I haven't been able to view evidence of the ceasing of scab-picking since he's been gone. But it was sure fun shocking him with the scab-picking hobby idea.
She's got many more good ideas, but I'd better get to bed if I'm going to get anywhere close to 10-12 hours of sleep.
The author of this book is very clever. She says that RAD kids do nutty things. Don't try to figure them out because they're just nutty things. They will NEVER make sense to you, so don't attempt to go figuring that out. I've decided that she's probably right. She's parented many foster and adopted kids with RAD, so she must know her stuff. Unlike all these fancy-schmancy doctors who've sat in an office for the past 20 years doling out diagnoses to kids and their parents. So, I'm not sure how much I'm going to share with you - because you'll probably be offended that I have a child that swears (he picked that up from the kids at his school) and picks at scabs. Ok - looks like the cat's out of the bag, so I might as well tell you all the funny things he does and how I've handled it. I have to add that the author talks about 12 things to do (not all at once - I'm not a miracle worker) and the first thing is to take care of myself. Get 10-12 hours of sleep. I actually stopped reading the book at this point. I thought "if this woman thinks I'm going to get that much sleep, there is no hope for me to ever get past step 2". But after picking myself up off the floor, I decided that it wouldn't hurt to figure out if her wisdom had any merit.
The first things I've tackled are the swearing (usually at me - it's always directed at the mom), and picking at scabs. The author says that kids swear for shock value (REALLY?!? I'm shocked! I did NOT know that) and that when you react in a shocked way, they've got the power. She says that I'm the queen (see why I like her?) and hubby is the king and the kid is maybe a royal subject. But probably closer to some sort of slave. Just kidding. The first thing you do when the child swears is say "oh sweetums, I see you need time to do some swearing. Just go in your room. Take 5 or 10 minutes and get all that swearing out. Then you can come back down and feel much better". I was appalled when I read this. You mean I'm giving him permission to swear? But I don't WANT him to swear!! I figured I should at least try the opposite of everything I've been doing. So yesterday after school, he decides to call me a few choice names when I tell him to go pack for the retreat. I said as sweetly as possible (another thing he is hating) "oh, Holland. I can see that you are weak and need to do some swearing. Just go upstairs, get it all out and then come back down." He looks at me with this blank stare and goes "I'm done." I tried not to fall off the couch and just thanked him for being done.
The second thing was the scab picking. Again - I am constantly telling him to stop picking at them. He's getting pimples, he picks them, they bleed, they scab over and then he picks them and we have to start all over again. I've been reduced to going into his room at night, rolling him over and putting zit cream on his face. Either that or Neosporyn. So yesterday on the way to the middle school retreat, he's sitting in the front seat, trying to hide that he's picking at it again. I look over and say (sweet, happy voice again) "hey - I've decided that you have created a new hobby and I'm going to help you out. I'll get a ziploc bag, you can go in your room and pick at the scabs, put them in the baggie and then you'll have a collection!" He immediately shouts "that's gross!" and stopped picking. I haven't been able to view evidence of the ceasing of scab-picking since he's been gone. But it was sure fun shocking him with the scab-picking hobby idea.
She's got many more good ideas, but I'd better get to bed if I'm going to get anywhere close to 10-12 hours of sleep.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Shiny Children
I have such brilliant children. No, seriously. They are so smart, they figure out ways to stump me with their logic. Here's a conversation that happened today:
Romania yells from upstairs: "Mom, Egypt hit me for no reason!"
Egypt yells back: "He hit me, too!"
Romania yells again: "Yes, but I had a reason!"
Isn't that great? How do kids manage to have conversations that defy logic? Here's another great conversation overheard. By the same two involved in the last one.
Egypt: "You are such a monarch!"
Romania: "That's a butterfly. I think you mean 'moron'."
Egypt: ....."aaarrrrrghghghghg!!"
Wasn't that nice of him to correct her? I mean, what kind of brother would actually take time to tell his sister the right way to insult someone? See? Pure brilliance.
Romania yells from upstairs: "Mom, Egypt hit me for no reason!"
Egypt yells back: "He hit me, too!"
Romania yells again: "Yes, but I had a reason!"
Isn't that great? How do kids manage to have conversations that defy logic? Here's another great conversation overheard. By the same two involved in the last one.
Egypt: "You are such a monarch!"
Romania: "That's a butterfly. I think you mean 'moron'."
Egypt: ....."aaarrrrrghghghghg!!"
Wasn't that nice of him to correct her? I mean, what kind of brother would actually take time to tell his sister the right way to insult someone? See? Pure brilliance.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Finish It
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is my new motto. Today was not a particularly good day and it actually had nothing to do with Holland. Facebook is a slippery slope and today I experienced something that makes me question whether to be on it or not. I made a comment (innocent in my mind) on someone's post who wasn't feeling particularly loved that day. She felt left out of something and we kind of relate because we are both dealing with special needs kids. Sometimes it can get lonely not being able to do everything that other adult friends get to do. I was just trying to make her feel better. My comment offended someone else. There's no need to go into what was said, but this person has not been able to let it go. I apologized to her. Several times. I deleted the comment so no one else would have to see it. She would not stop emailing me. So I posted something on my Wall that said I was determined to have a good day. And it wouldn't matter that someone was mean to me.
I felt like I was back in high school. I've never had an encounter like this before. I left the comments up there so people could see the conversation and wouldn't think that I was the nut job. Sometimes no matter what you do, it's not enough for some people.
Tomorrow is a new day. I'm done with today; I've done what I could.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is my new motto. Today was not a particularly good day and it actually had nothing to do with Holland. Facebook is a slippery slope and today I experienced something that makes me question whether to be on it or not. I made a comment (innocent in my mind) on someone's post who wasn't feeling particularly loved that day. She felt left out of something and we kind of relate because we are both dealing with special needs kids. Sometimes it can get lonely not being able to do everything that other adult friends get to do. I was just trying to make her feel better. My comment offended someone else. There's no need to go into what was said, but this person has not been able to let it go. I apologized to her. Several times. I deleted the comment so no one else would have to see it. She would not stop emailing me. So I posted something on my Wall that said I was determined to have a good day. And it wouldn't matter that someone was mean to me.
I felt like I was back in high school. I've never had an encounter like this before. I left the comments up there so people could see the conversation and wouldn't think that I was the nut job. Sometimes no matter what you do, it's not enough for some people.
Tomorrow is a new day. I'm done with today; I've done what I could.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Home. Sigh.....
We've been home from the beach for a few days and already I miss the weather. Can you believe the weather was better at an Oregon beach, than in the Rose City?? Crazy. Yesterday was my birthday and with it being the first day of summer and the longest day of the year, the sun was out and it was perfect! Of course, I had to take the kids to pick out something for me (a bead for my bracelet) and my cake. Super-Hero doesn't do too well in the party-planning arena. But that's okay. I was able to listen to the kids argue for 15 minutes over which bead to get me. Doesn't matter that I had made a list of the beads I liked and any of them they chose would have been perfect! The store-owner was super sweet and patient with my kids and assured them that whatever they chose I would love. When I'm not embarrassed by them, I actually do appreciate their thoughtfulness.
I'm still trying to get the house back under control. I made the silly mistake of imagining coming home to a clean house. After all, four of us were gone for a week and most of the messiness comes from three of the four who were absent. I'm playing catch up with laundry (even though three suitcases came home clean and two were filled with dirty clothes) I'm still tearing through the mountain of dirty clothes. Romania and Egypt started a Sports Camp through our church, so I drop them off every morning and run around doing errands. Then in the afternoon, try to fix dinner, put clothes away, help straighten rooms and get Romania ready for a baseball game. Oh - I also spent time at the DMV on Monday. My driver's license was expiring on Tuesday and I completely forgot about renewing it. It didn't help that most of the paperwork was going to be difficult to find. You have to prove you're a citizen, your full legal name, full address and social security number. It was never this hard to renew a license before - I've gotta thank illegal aliens for making this process more complicated. I emailed Super-Hero while we were out of town to have him find my birth certificate and last year's tax forms. That would cover my name, social and address from the tax form and my legal citizenship from the birth certificate. He couldn't find the birth certificate anywhere. I went to the closest (I thought) open DMV office after dropping of the kids at Sports Camp. They would not accept the documents I had as enough to renew my license and the woman almost cut up my license right there! But she decided since it actually expired on the 21st, she would give me a "pass" and hope that I could find the documents I needed to prove who I was. I spent most of the afternoon looking through the files I could. But Super-Hero had locked the file cabinet in the garage and I couldn't get into it. I even asked Holland to try to pick the lock (he's done it before on door knobs!), but it didn't work. I was totally in a panic because I knew my birth certificate wasn't in there. The other document they'd accept was a passport, but I knew mine had expired years ago and wasn't sure how long past the expiration they would accept it. The DMV person told me five years past expiration and I went to England in '98 for my brother's wedding. Thankfully, Super-Hero found the passport and I raced out of the house while he got all three kids ready to head out to Romania's baseball game. Craziness.
The office I went to for the second trip to the DMV was a lot closer. I thought they were closed for renovation, but they weren't. And they were open 'til 6, so I had just enough time to get there and pray that my documents were enough. I was in and out in 10 minutes! Whew!! Got a temporary license (my mug on a piece of paper) and a hole punched in my card since it expired. So glad I got that taken care of. Here's my warning to everyone who has to renew in the next few years: look for your paperwork NOW! I can't believe how hard it was to find everything.
I'm still trying to get the house back under control. I made the silly mistake of imagining coming home to a clean house. After all, four of us were gone for a week and most of the messiness comes from three of the four who were absent. I'm playing catch up with laundry (even though three suitcases came home clean and two were filled with dirty clothes) I'm still tearing through the mountain of dirty clothes. Romania and Egypt started a Sports Camp through our church, so I drop them off every morning and run around doing errands. Then in the afternoon, try to fix dinner, put clothes away, help straighten rooms and get Romania ready for a baseball game. Oh - I also spent time at the DMV on Monday. My driver's license was expiring on Tuesday and I completely forgot about renewing it. It didn't help that most of the paperwork was going to be difficult to find. You have to prove you're a citizen, your full legal name, full address and social security number. It was never this hard to renew a license before - I've gotta thank illegal aliens for making this process more complicated. I emailed Super-Hero while we were out of town to have him find my birth certificate and last year's tax forms. That would cover my name, social and address from the tax form and my legal citizenship from the birth certificate. He couldn't find the birth certificate anywhere. I went to the closest (I thought) open DMV office after dropping of the kids at Sports Camp. They would not accept the documents I had as enough to renew my license and the woman almost cut up my license right there! But she decided since it actually expired on the 21st, she would give me a "pass" and hope that I could find the documents I needed to prove who I was. I spent most of the afternoon looking through the files I could. But Super-Hero had locked the file cabinet in the garage and I couldn't get into it. I even asked Holland to try to pick the lock (he's done it before on door knobs!), but it didn't work. I was totally in a panic because I knew my birth certificate wasn't in there. The other document they'd accept was a passport, but I knew mine had expired years ago and wasn't sure how long past the expiration they would accept it. The DMV person told me five years past expiration and I went to England in '98 for my brother's wedding. Thankfully, Super-Hero found the passport and I raced out of the house while he got all three kids ready to head out to Romania's baseball game. Craziness.
The office I went to for the second trip to the DMV was a lot closer. I thought they were closed for renovation, but they weren't. And they were open 'til 6, so I had just enough time to get there and pray that my documents were enough. I was in and out in 10 minutes! Whew!! Got a temporary license (my mug on a piece of paper) and a hole punched in my card since it expired. So glad I got that taken care of. Here's my warning to everyone who has to renew in the next few years: look for your paperwork NOW! I can't believe how hard it was to find everything.
Friday, June 17, 2011
The Beach!
We've been in Seaside for almost a week and I do NOT want to leave! It has been so much fun. We've played so many times on the beach, I've lost count. The house we rented is just fabulous. The owners have done an amazing job with some remodeling and it still has all the charm of an old house (I think it was built in the early 20's). We've had fun talking through the floor to the kids! There are vents on the first floor that you can see through to the basement. Whenever someone is talking, it's hard to tell where they are in the house. The little ones like to stand downstairs and just talk like you're in the same room!
My nephew is playing in a beach soccer tournament, so my sister, my mom and I rented a house in Seaside where the tournament is taking place. We decided to come the week before the event. It's been amazing - the weather has been so kind, the kids have had a great time and we've made some special memories during the trip. A friend I've known for over 20 years (we used to work at a Christian Conference Center in Cannon Beach) still lives in Cannon Beach and I try hard to see her when we are able to come to town. This week was a crazy schedule for her, but she was able to make time on Friday to meet us at 7 in the morning to go hunting for sand dollars at low tide. She said this particular beach was usually just littered with sand dollars. And they weren't broken! I have never seen a sand dollar with all the fuzzy stuff on it. Only when they're dried up and broken. We walked around and found so many different sizes and colors of sand dollars. And Holland was even able to catch a razor clam! Some guys were clamming when we got down there and one let Holland dig and then pull the clam out and keep it! He was so proud! What a great experience! I'll post some pictures of our adventure later when I have time to make a cool slide show. We leave on Sunday and I want to stay the whole summer!!!
What we witnessed this week is truly proof of an amazing God!
My nephew is playing in a beach soccer tournament, so my sister, my mom and I rented a house in Seaside where the tournament is taking place. We decided to come the week before the event. It's been amazing - the weather has been so kind, the kids have had a great time and we've made some special memories during the trip. A friend I've known for over 20 years (we used to work at a Christian Conference Center in Cannon Beach) still lives in Cannon Beach and I try hard to see her when we are able to come to town. This week was a crazy schedule for her, but she was able to make time on Friday to meet us at 7 in the morning to go hunting for sand dollars at low tide. She said this particular beach was usually just littered with sand dollars. And they weren't broken! I have never seen a sand dollar with all the fuzzy stuff on it. Only when they're dried up and broken. We walked around and found so many different sizes and colors of sand dollars. And Holland was even able to catch a razor clam! Some guys were clamming when we got down there and one let Holland dig and then pull the clam out and keep it! He was so proud! What a great experience! I'll post some pictures of our adventure later when I have time to make a cool slide show. We leave on Sunday and I want to stay the whole summer!!!
What we witnessed this week is truly proof of an amazing God!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Great Wolf Lodge
Super-Hero and I have been planning a secret trip to Great Wolf Lodge in Grand Mound, Washington. We decided not to tell the kids because it's just too hard for Holland to wait. Like his new psychiatrist says, "he lives in the eternal now." Plus, it was fun announcing on the morning of school that we were skipping!
We stopped for lunch on the way, but Holland refused to get out and eat. I said we were going inside and if he wanted to eat, he could come in. We sat in a booth near the window so I could see the van and he didn't move the entire time we were in there. He does a lot of "if I'm not getting my way, nobody else is going to be happy, either" thing. I told him he wasn't in charge and we were going in to eat. (He wanted McDonald's, but we chose Dairy Queen) When we got to the hotel, Super-Hero and Holland went in to see if we could get our passes early. They let you check in and use the waterpark before you even get your room. Which is nice, because you can't get your room until 4! We got in to swim at 12:30. Kids had a great time at first. It's always a gamble with Holland. Will he have fun? Will he cause problems? Will he demand things and make a scene? Yes, to all of those things. The first problem that happened was a ride down one of the tunnels. Romania and Egypt had gone down with Super-Hero and I had stayed in the wave pool with Holland. Egypt wanted me to go and dad said that I would have fun. Holland decided to come. He does not like fast, scary rides. He gets scared at Oaks Park with the small rickety roller coaster ride. Well, turns out that Egypt had taken us on the stairs to the scariest of the four rides. I thought I was going to fall out of the raft. Holland was NOT happy and was screaming (not a fun scream!) the entire way down. Egypt had this huge smile on her face. The tunnel drops straight down at least two times that I remember. Your heart goes up in your throat. After that, Holland decided he had had enough with the water and wanted to go. I said no, we were staying. He went back to the chairs where our stuff was, and fell asleep with towels over his head.
We got into the room at 4 and decided around 4.45 to look for a place to eat. Holland was content using his laptop that he brought and again refused to come eat. I left Super-Hero's phone with him and told him if he needed anything to call. We found a restaurant that was right across the parking lot. Super-Hero and Romania ordered hamburgers and Egypt ordered chicken strips. I ordered a chicken salad and I'm the only one who had a decent meal. Romania asked for a plain hamburger and it had cheese on it. So he took it back and asked for another one. Meanwhile, Egypt and Super-Hero are eating and I can tell he doesn't like his hamburger. Egypt said there was something "funny" about the chicken. When I looked at it, it didn't look cooked. When Romania got the plain hamburger, he took not even two bites and wouldn't eat anymore. Said it was horrible and Super-Hero said the same thing. My salad was the only thing that saved me! When we got back to the room, Holland was sitting in the exact same spot, doing his computer.
After dinner, the kids wanted to go back to the pool. I was getting a headache, so stayed behind and he took the kids back. They all had more fun and Holland came back about an hour later saying he was tired. Egypt and Romania slept in a little den area with bunkbeds and Holland slept on the hide-a-bed (only bed with an outlet nearby for his computer). Kids had no trouble falling asleep. At one point, Romania said he couldn't fall asleep and I said, "oh, you'll be asleep in five minutes." I went back to my bed and then a few minutes later hear him say, "mom, has it been five minutes?" I said "yes, why?" He goes, "well you said I'd be asleep in five minutes and I'm not asleep." I told him he was too literal and to be quiet!
The next morning, we couldn't get out of the room fast enough for Holland. He didn't even want to eat breakfast. That makes three meals he didn't eat. He wanted to go down and check if they could get in to the pool area at 8.30. We told the kids we needed to pack everything up before we went down to swim or we'd have to come back up and pack up everything and load it into the car by 11. Holland was so mad and threw a couple tantrums saying he didn't want to do that. I kept reminding him he wasn't in charge (psych's idea) and that this is what we were doing. After much complaining, by now it was 9 and they still hadn't loaded the car. Holland was not happy. I told him as soon as he helped load stuff, they could go swimming. I stayed to finish packing and get ready. Then I went downstairs and Super-Hero went up to load the rest of the stuff in the car. It's nice because you can play in the water area before check in and also after the next day. You just have to be out of your room and so we had to organize which clothes the kids would need after swimming.
By 11 am, Holland was complaining very loudly how hungry he was. I reminded him that he hadn't really eaten much the past three meals. He complained a lot. Super-Hero had left valuables in the car rather than get another locker. So he had to dry off, go back to the van and get his wallet. I took Holland to a snack shop and he got a hot dog, fries and a drink and his mood changed for the better. I had another chicken salad (too much greasy food on vacations!) and then the other two kids got something to eat with Super-Hero. We played tag like this all day. Swapping kids and duties. Worked out pretty well. But then Holland got bored and said he was tired and wanted to go home. I said we weren't going home and we couldn't go back to the room. He got upset (very loudly) and complained a lot. I told him he could go back to the van if he wanted. When I went to find dad and the kids eating, there was Holland, asleep! on a chair. Everyone who walked by had this sad look on their faces of a kid asleep in such a fun place. The other two finished eating and wanted to swim again. I said I would stay with Holland. When he did wake up, he wanted what he wanted (which wasn't what we were doing) and got angry. He then shoved the table, which hit my foot and broke my toenail. He also knocked some stuff off the table. I got up. I had had enough. I told him to clean up the mess and walked away. I could tell he was throwing a fit behind me. I fully expected him to come running behind me and push me. He didn't, though. He just kept after me, crying that it wasn't his fault. So tired of hearing this. I told him as soon as he cleaned up his mess, he could get his laptop. Dad came back to where we were sitting and I explained what was going on. Super-Hero took him back to the mess, but it had already been cleaned up. More crying about how it wasn't his fault.
Super-Hero decided to get him the laptop and took him to the lobby where he sat until we left at 6.30. Egypt and Romania played hard the whole time and didn't want to leave! We had a great time - minus the meltdowns that Holland had. We found a pizza joint in Centrailia called "Grandma's Pizza" with a giant pizza man outside the place. Kids thought that it was really funny to have a place called "grandma's pizza" and not have a grandma outside! We ordered a pepperoni and the kids each had these bottled drinks. We watched funny home videos on a giant tv and then left for home. Holland and Egypt fell asleep on the drive home. We were able to get all to bed without much fuss.
Now I'm wondering how our beach trip in June is going to go. My nephew is playing in a soccer tournament in Seaside and we rented a house there to stay the entire week. Hopefully having his cousins around will mean he'll have more fun. But who knows? Things rarely work out like I think they're going to.
We stopped for lunch on the way, but Holland refused to get out and eat. I said we were going inside and if he wanted to eat, he could come in. We sat in a booth near the window so I could see the van and he didn't move the entire time we were in there. He does a lot of "if I'm not getting my way, nobody else is going to be happy, either" thing. I told him he wasn't in charge and we were going in to eat. (He wanted McDonald's, but we chose Dairy Queen) When we got to the hotel, Super-Hero and Holland went in to see if we could get our passes early. They let you check in and use the waterpark before you even get your room. Which is nice, because you can't get your room until 4! We got in to swim at 12:30. Kids had a great time at first. It's always a gamble with Holland. Will he have fun? Will he cause problems? Will he demand things and make a scene? Yes, to all of those things. The first problem that happened was a ride down one of the tunnels. Romania and Egypt had gone down with Super-Hero and I had stayed in the wave pool with Holland. Egypt wanted me to go and dad said that I would have fun. Holland decided to come. He does not like fast, scary rides. He gets scared at Oaks Park with the small rickety roller coaster ride. Well, turns out that Egypt had taken us on the stairs to the scariest of the four rides. I thought I was going to fall out of the raft. Holland was NOT happy and was screaming (not a fun scream!) the entire way down. Egypt had this huge smile on her face. The tunnel drops straight down at least two times that I remember. Your heart goes up in your throat. After that, Holland decided he had had enough with the water and wanted to go. I said no, we were staying. He went back to the chairs where our stuff was, and fell asleep with towels over his head.
We got into the room at 4 and decided around 4.45 to look for a place to eat. Holland was content using his laptop that he brought and again refused to come eat. I left Super-Hero's phone with him and told him if he needed anything to call. We found a restaurant that was right across the parking lot. Super-Hero and Romania ordered hamburgers and Egypt ordered chicken strips. I ordered a chicken salad and I'm the only one who had a decent meal. Romania asked for a plain hamburger and it had cheese on it. So he took it back and asked for another one. Meanwhile, Egypt and Super-Hero are eating and I can tell he doesn't like his hamburger. Egypt said there was something "funny" about the chicken. When I looked at it, it didn't look cooked. When Romania got the plain hamburger, he took not even two bites and wouldn't eat anymore. Said it was horrible and Super-Hero said the same thing. My salad was the only thing that saved me! When we got back to the room, Holland was sitting in the exact same spot, doing his computer.
After dinner, the kids wanted to go back to the pool. I was getting a headache, so stayed behind and he took the kids back. They all had more fun and Holland came back about an hour later saying he was tired. Egypt and Romania slept in a little den area with bunkbeds and Holland slept on the hide-a-bed (only bed with an outlet nearby for his computer). Kids had no trouble falling asleep. At one point, Romania said he couldn't fall asleep and I said, "oh, you'll be asleep in five minutes." I went back to my bed and then a few minutes later hear him say, "mom, has it been five minutes?" I said "yes, why?" He goes, "well you said I'd be asleep in five minutes and I'm not asleep." I told him he was too literal and to be quiet!
The next morning, we couldn't get out of the room fast enough for Holland. He didn't even want to eat breakfast. That makes three meals he didn't eat. He wanted to go down and check if they could get in to the pool area at 8.30. We told the kids we needed to pack everything up before we went down to swim or we'd have to come back up and pack up everything and load it into the car by 11. Holland was so mad and threw a couple tantrums saying he didn't want to do that. I kept reminding him he wasn't in charge (psych's idea) and that this is what we were doing. After much complaining, by now it was 9 and they still hadn't loaded the car. Holland was not happy. I told him as soon as he helped load stuff, they could go swimming. I stayed to finish packing and get ready. Then I went downstairs and Super-Hero went up to load the rest of the stuff in the car. It's nice because you can play in the water area before check in and also after the next day. You just have to be out of your room and so we had to organize which clothes the kids would need after swimming.
By 11 am, Holland was complaining very loudly how hungry he was. I reminded him that he hadn't really eaten much the past three meals. He complained a lot. Super-Hero had left valuables in the car rather than get another locker. So he had to dry off, go back to the van and get his wallet. I took Holland to a snack shop and he got a hot dog, fries and a drink and his mood changed for the better. I had another chicken salad (too much greasy food on vacations!) and then the other two kids got something to eat with Super-Hero. We played tag like this all day. Swapping kids and duties. Worked out pretty well. But then Holland got bored and said he was tired and wanted to go home. I said we weren't going home and we couldn't go back to the room. He got upset (very loudly) and complained a lot. I told him he could go back to the van if he wanted. When I went to find dad and the kids eating, there was Holland, asleep! on a chair. Everyone who walked by had this sad look on their faces of a kid asleep in such a fun place. The other two finished eating and wanted to swim again. I said I would stay with Holland. When he did wake up, he wanted what he wanted (which wasn't what we were doing) and got angry. He then shoved the table, which hit my foot and broke my toenail. He also knocked some stuff off the table. I got up. I had had enough. I told him to clean up the mess and walked away. I could tell he was throwing a fit behind me. I fully expected him to come running behind me and push me. He didn't, though. He just kept after me, crying that it wasn't his fault. So tired of hearing this. I told him as soon as he cleaned up his mess, he could get his laptop. Dad came back to where we were sitting and I explained what was going on. Super-Hero took him back to the mess, but it had already been cleaned up. More crying about how it wasn't his fault.
Super-Hero decided to get him the laptop and took him to the lobby where he sat until we left at 6.30. Egypt and Romania played hard the whole time and didn't want to leave! We had a great time - minus the meltdowns that Holland had. We found a pizza joint in Centrailia called "Grandma's Pizza" with a giant pizza man outside the place. Kids thought that it was really funny to have a place called "grandma's pizza" and not have a grandma outside! We ordered a pepperoni and the kids each had these bottled drinks. We watched funny home videos on a giant tv and then left for home. Holland and Egypt fell asleep on the drive home. We were able to get all to bed without much fuss.
Now I'm wondering how our beach trip in June is going to go. My nephew is playing in a soccer tournament in Seaside and we rented a house there to stay the entire week. Hopefully having his cousins around will mean he'll have more fun. But who knows? Things rarely work out like I think they're going to.
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