Friday, January 13, 2012

Betty

You've got to hand it to craigslist. You meet - or more often than not, DON'T meet -some very interesting people. We've put ads on before. Sometimes things are for sale and sometimes things are for free. I've discovered that it doesn't matter if money is involved, or something is free, there are flakes from both neighborhoods.

Recently I posted about a free refrigerator that we have had since the beginning of time. Well, the beginning of OUR time, which is 20 years. When Super Hero bought our first house, it came equipped with this fabulous retro fridge. Don't get excited. In this case retro just means old. The thing was pitiful. It was so old that the freezer was inside the fridge part. It had these wonky shelves that bowed when you put a gallon of milk on them. And the freezer just accumulated ice so quickly it was a pain to defrost. The space just kept shrinking and shrinking every time we opened it. I think the food actually froze inside the ice at some point. When we sold the house though, a nice new fridge took Betty's place, and since that's what the new homeowner saw, we couldn't do a switch with Betty and had to bring her with us.

We've moved several times and she's been in our garage here for about 14 years. My mom finally took pity on us and just gave us the fridge she bought on craigslist last summer for when my brother and his family came to visit. Their brood took over the "Barn" where we grew up and it only made sense to have a fridge in there for them and their six kids. I really do need the second fridge because I have to store all the different gluten free flours there. Otherwise the moths keep getting it and then I have to gut the pantry. And, well, that's just not how I want to spend ANY day.

Super Hero moved Betty to the driveway. (Side note here: he does NOT know that I named her. Let's just leave that dog alone.) One of my VERY concerned neighbors (and if you know me, you know this is exactly the opposite of what I mean) came over to tell me that I needed to put this big lock on it so kids wouldn't climb into it. And he sure hoped the police didn't come by and see it. Helpful, right? So I looked online for a way to get rid of Betty. Recycling is a waste of time. They try to lure you with 40 bucks. Sounds great, right? Don't be fooled. I'm here to school ya. You have to clean the fridge (um, no thanks), make sure your fridge meets the size requirements (yeah, it's probably within that size range, sir), make an appointment to have someone come out and inspect your unit, has to be plugged in and shown to be working (???), and then you have to show that you've replace that unit with an "Energy Efficient" model. I don't even know what that means. What, is there some big label on the side of appliances that says 'I'm energy efficient'? So, yeah, not really worth 40 bucks.

That's where the craigslist ad comes in. I thought I'd be all clever and try to get people's attention. I mean, reading ads on craigslist is like reading a phone book. Here's the ad (I'm just pasting what I wrote because when I take the ad down, it likely will disappear)
Find Betty the Refrigerator a New Home (Oregon City)

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Date: 2012-01-11, 2:09PM PST
Reply to: sale-sa7uu-2795146952@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
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We've traveled far with this refrigerator and it's time to find Betty a new home. She's probably 60 years old, so you figure out what her new purpose is. Her freezer is inside the fridge part (so don't tell her if you're just using her for her parts) She's sitting in our driveway attracting small children, so we need her to move on as soon as possible.


Within an hour I had 5 people lined up and ready to haul her off. Of course for some reason I felt the need to go in order and be all diplomatic about it. So I offered it to the first person. She thought I was in Molalla. Which you can clearly see by the title, that I am NOT in Molalla. The third guy is the first person who used Betty's name. He said, "call Manny to come get Betty the freezer" and immediately I fell in love with him. But alas, he was third on the list. So I emailed the second guy. Who turned out to be quite needy and wanted a picture and phone call. Excuse me. This fridge is free and yeah, it's free. By this time I'm irritated that people are so demanding for a free refrigerator and should be begging me, not making all these requirements of me. I did get two cute emails last night, both from women. They both said that although they weren't interested in Betty, they thought it was the "cutest" and "cleverest" ad they'd ever seen on craigslist. Awww. Just here to throw a smile your way and to prevent the boredome of reading a phone book.

So. This morning, I penned an email (can I say "penned" when referring to an email? I think there might be a need for a new word in the dictionary), and sent it to I think 9 people who had inquired about Betty. I loved all who referred to her by name. Here's the email I sent:

Good Morning!
I appreciate all the emails regarding finding Betty a new home. There have been several no-shows and Betty is getting awfully cold out there. She belongs to the first person that finds his or her way over to rescue her from the elements.
Good luck soldiers.


So far no one has ventured over here. Maybe I scared them off with my demands :-)
Who knows, with craigslist. It's a strange new world out there.

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