I really try to update more often. When I finally get around to updating, there's so much to say, that I feel it's necessary to leave things out - lest you get bored and stop reading!
We've had some pretty rough times. Times I'd like to forget, but they did happen. We had to call the police for the second time. Holland became enraged with something Romania did and threw his brand new Nintendo 3DS and broke it. After trying to separate them, Holland ending up pushing me down the stairs. Super Hero got the phone for me and I called 911. The entire phone call, Holland was hanging on my back trying to get me to hang up. Two cars were here within minutes and the four officers were amazing. They talked with him and with the other two kids, holed up in Romania's room, but nothing was really done. He was calm by the time they arrived. They advised me on residential treatment and said to call them without hesitation if it happened again. For several weeks, I was considering residential and had called my insurance and several places to see the process for admitting him.
Hard to believe I actually got to the point of needing and wanting to place him somewhere, but I was feeling so unsafe.
While continuing to do school with Egypt and Romania, I would spend a lot of time online researching Reactive Attachment Disorder. I was led to website after website. Books, names of people, methods and researchers on the topic. I had pursued this before, but the only person I had found, was not on my insurance. And they wanted me to come in everyday for months. I could just not afford that - time or money. Then one day last week, I found the name of a website called ATTACh. I couldn't tell if it was for professionals or actually a resource for parents to find someone to help them. I found someone listed for Oregon and shot an email. Not even knowing if the list was current or not. The same person actually emailed me back that same afternoon and said she was the contact person and could speak to me and gave me her number. We played phone tag for a few days, but when I actually did talk to her, I knew she was the exact right person we have been looking for. All the things I described for her were exactly things she saw in many of her other patients. Nothing freaked her out - although she was worried for my safety. There were two glitches: the first was she was going out of town for two weeks to help out in Haiti with all the adoptions after the earthquake there; the second was, she's not an in-network provider on my insurance. After speaking with my insurance, I found out it was going to cost quite a bit to see her each time. I asked for an exception to be made since she was a specialist and I could not find anyone in-network that dealt with RAD. The insurance explained that the doctor would have to do that (I can see why doctors do NOT like dealing with insurances! She doesn't have time to do that kind of thing).
Well, the Lord moves in mysterious (and sometimes painfully slow!) ways. Every year it seems, Super Hero's insurance gets changed. We go through finding a new psychiatrist, finding a new therapist. It's just awful starting all over. I would get so irritated because, hey, I want to save money, but it's just so hard to find a doctor in the first place. But to find a NEW one every year that specializes in what we need is so near impossible! I found out two days ago that yet again, we are changing insurances. I was trying not to get upset. Praying that we would get to keep the gastroenterologist; the pediatric rheumatologist; the pediatric opthamologist; the psychiatrist. The person that helps read through all the insurance plans to decide the best coverage has been so nice to us - and emailed Super Hero to ask him specifically what were the doctors we needed on the plan. I emailed him a list and included the therapist that I wanted, that wasn't currently covered. I just found out, that she is on the new plan! I could hardly believe it. I almost don't want to believe it, in case it's a different Blue Cross plan or something! So, I might just wait until the new year to start up with the new therapist. Seems like a life time away, but might be easier with all the out-of-network billing.
The other big news is that finally Holland got a new school placement. We had been waiting since the beginning of the school year. I just went yesterday to a placement meeting. They are going to start slowly introducing him to the program and then by Thanksgiving week, he'll be there at least one day full time. It can't come soon enough! And the other good thing-the new school is about 3 minutes from our house. It's actually at the building where we did a homeschooling co-op several years ago. He's totally familiar with the building. No more hour or even half hour bus ride. I'll just have to shift things in my mind that my day ends at 2 instead of 2.45!
Friday, November 4, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
A New Ride
I've stirred the pot again. I agonized all summer about what to do with Romania for school this year. He's been at the charter school since the middle of first grade. Now he's going into 5th grade. I did not know where Holland would be attending school for the whole year. Since school staff take the summer off, nothing is ever decided until the new school year starts. He has aged out of his current placement, but we are in limbo waiting for the new school to have a spot for him. What was so hard last year was the different schedule times of the boys' schools. I would drop Romania at the bus hub, race back home to get Holland in his ride to school. Then he got home at 3 and then I had to wait until 4 to leave to pick up Romania. I was sick of leaving the house every day. But homeschooling two students, especially one that hasn't been home since he was 6, was a huge decision to make.
I made a list of pros and cons for both. That helped me to see better what I was thinking and why. Even though sending him somewhere to be educated seemed easier, I wasn't just worried about his education. I was worried about his heart. He is surrounded by so much turmoil at home. And he was coming home from school so tired, so stressed out from the long day, and not wanting to do anything expect sit and watch tv. It was hard to spend one-on-one time with him and encourage him in the way he should go.
So all the deliberating turned into a decision and I started ordering curriculum. I started to get excited about what we were going to be able to study. When I had Holland home, I found this wonderful literature-based history study. Holland loved it. I just kept putting books on hold at the library and we read as much as we could. When I decided to homeschool Romania again, I was excited to start another of the books with him. The bookstore where I go has a great selection, and the staff is well versed in the different varieties of curriculums, subjects and programs. Turns out on the day I went to buy the history book, they had just that morning received the newest book in this series called "Beginnings" As the book says, "The Grand Unveiling of human history". And boy are they right. Just the couple days that we have read it, the Bible is coming to life. I am having trouble finding the resources she is recommending, but I kind of figured that since it's a Biblical study of history. Hopefully I can find enough to fill us up!
I can tell my next few posts will be about our new adventure in homeschooling!
I made a list of pros and cons for both. That helped me to see better what I was thinking and why. Even though sending him somewhere to be educated seemed easier, I wasn't just worried about his education. I was worried about his heart. He is surrounded by so much turmoil at home. And he was coming home from school so tired, so stressed out from the long day, and not wanting to do anything expect sit and watch tv. It was hard to spend one-on-one time with him and encourage him in the way he should go.
So all the deliberating turned into a decision and I started ordering curriculum. I started to get excited about what we were going to be able to study. When I had Holland home, I found this wonderful literature-based history study. Holland loved it. I just kept putting books on hold at the library and we read as much as we could. When I decided to homeschool Romania again, I was excited to start another of the books with him. The bookstore where I go has a great selection, and the staff is well versed in the different varieties of curriculums, subjects and programs. Turns out on the day I went to buy the history book, they had just that morning received the newest book in this series called "Beginnings" As the book says, "The Grand Unveiling of human history". And boy are they right. Just the couple days that we have read it, the Bible is coming to life. I am having trouble finding the resources she is recommending, but I kind of figured that since it's a Biblical study of history. Hopefully I can find enough to fill us up!
I can tell my next few posts will be about our new adventure in homeschooling!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
If you've never heard of Pinterest, you're missing out. I discovered this about 6 months ago and it is the most brilliant idea. It's a place to "pin" things that interest you. Each person decides what they want to bookmark, name the category and organize projects, ideas for things, books, food, whatever you find interesting. You can follow people you like and they can follow you. You can easily search for things, too. Like tonight I was looking for an idea for a fabric garland to decorate Egypt's room. Boom. Search for fabric garland and tons of pins popped up. Everything from wedding decor, birthday parties, outdoor garlands, tutorials and even different shapes of garlands. It's so much easier than following a blog (by the way - thanks for reading mine!). It's actually a great way to find different blogs because the pin takes you right to the original link.
If you want to check out Pinterest, you can "follow" me. My username is "hmarineau".
Happy Pinning!
If you want to check out Pinterest, you can "follow" me. My username is "hmarineau".
Happy Pinning!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
He's a Middle Schooler
Ok - I officially had a middle schooler last year, but he wasn't that excited about doing middle-schooler-type things. Yesterday he made it more official by going to his first middle school retreat with kids from our church. A wonderful family has a house on the Clackamas River and every year, opens their house (well, the boys get the barn) to the 6-8th graders at church. I have to interrupt myself and say that I recently got a new book from the library (darn those libraries with all their informative books) about Reactive Attachment Disorder, which shall be heretofore referred to as RAD. So I've come up with some handy-dandy ways to assert myself and attempt to change this child's behavior. And I forget - what have I been doing the past 12 years? Oh yeah - medicating him for bipolar when in fact the newest and bestest doctor says it's RAD and ADD. Love that I can abbreviate everything. Sounds so official instead of saying "yeah - my kid's got bipolar disorder".
The author of this book is very clever. She says that RAD kids do nutty things. Don't try to figure them out because they're just nutty things. They will NEVER make sense to you, so don't attempt to go figuring that out. I've decided that she's probably right. She's parented many foster and adopted kids with RAD, so she must know her stuff. Unlike all these fancy-schmancy doctors who've sat in an office for the past 20 years doling out diagnoses to kids and their parents. So, I'm not sure how much I'm going to share with you - because you'll probably be offended that I have a child that swears (he picked that up from the kids at his school) and picks at scabs. Ok - looks like the cat's out of the bag, so I might as well tell you all the funny things he does and how I've handled it. I have to add that the author talks about 12 things to do (not all at once - I'm not a miracle worker) and the first thing is to take care of myself. Get 10-12 hours of sleep. I actually stopped reading the book at this point. I thought "if this woman thinks I'm going to get that much sleep, there is no hope for me to ever get past step 2". But after picking myself up off the floor, I decided that it wouldn't hurt to figure out if her wisdom had any merit.
The first things I've tackled are the swearing (usually at me - it's always directed at the mom), and picking at scabs. The author says that kids swear for shock value (REALLY?!? I'm shocked! I did NOT know that) and that when you react in a shocked way, they've got the power. She says that I'm the queen (see why I like her?) and hubby is the king and the kid is maybe a royal subject. But probably closer to some sort of slave. Just kidding. The first thing you do when the child swears is say "oh sweetums, I see you need time to do some swearing. Just go in your room. Take 5 or 10 minutes and get all that swearing out. Then you can come back down and feel much better". I was appalled when I read this. You mean I'm giving him permission to swear? But I don't WANT him to swear!! I figured I should at least try the opposite of everything I've been doing. So yesterday after school, he decides to call me a few choice names when I tell him to go pack for the retreat. I said as sweetly as possible (another thing he is hating) "oh, Holland. I can see that you are weak and need to do some swearing. Just go upstairs, get it all out and then come back down." He looks at me with this blank stare and goes "I'm done." I tried not to fall off the couch and just thanked him for being done.
The second thing was the scab picking. Again - I am constantly telling him to stop picking at them. He's getting pimples, he picks them, they bleed, they scab over and then he picks them and we have to start all over again. I've been reduced to going into his room at night, rolling him over and putting zit cream on his face. Either that or Neosporyn. So yesterday on the way to the middle school retreat, he's sitting in the front seat, trying to hide that he's picking at it again. I look over and say (sweet, happy voice again) "hey - I've decided that you have created a new hobby and I'm going to help you out. I'll get a ziploc bag, you can go in your room and pick at the scabs, put them in the baggie and then you'll have a collection!" He immediately shouts "that's gross!" and stopped picking. I haven't been able to view evidence of the ceasing of scab-picking since he's been gone. But it was sure fun shocking him with the scab-picking hobby idea.
She's got many more good ideas, but I'd better get to bed if I'm going to get anywhere close to 10-12 hours of sleep.
The author of this book is very clever. She says that RAD kids do nutty things. Don't try to figure them out because they're just nutty things. They will NEVER make sense to you, so don't attempt to go figuring that out. I've decided that she's probably right. She's parented many foster and adopted kids with RAD, so she must know her stuff. Unlike all these fancy-schmancy doctors who've sat in an office for the past 20 years doling out diagnoses to kids and their parents. So, I'm not sure how much I'm going to share with you - because you'll probably be offended that I have a child that swears (he picked that up from the kids at his school) and picks at scabs. Ok - looks like the cat's out of the bag, so I might as well tell you all the funny things he does and how I've handled it. I have to add that the author talks about 12 things to do (not all at once - I'm not a miracle worker) and the first thing is to take care of myself. Get 10-12 hours of sleep. I actually stopped reading the book at this point. I thought "if this woman thinks I'm going to get that much sleep, there is no hope for me to ever get past step 2". But after picking myself up off the floor, I decided that it wouldn't hurt to figure out if her wisdom had any merit.
The first things I've tackled are the swearing (usually at me - it's always directed at the mom), and picking at scabs. The author says that kids swear for shock value (REALLY?!? I'm shocked! I did NOT know that) and that when you react in a shocked way, they've got the power. She says that I'm the queen (see why I like her?) and hubby is the king and the kid is maybe a royal subject. But probably closer to some sort of slave. Just kidding. The first thing you do when the child swears is say "oh sweetums, I see you need time to do some swearing. Just go in your room. Take 5 or 10 minutes and get all that swearing out. Then you can come back down and feel much better". I was appalled when I read this. You mean I'm giving him permission to swear? But I don't WANT him to swear!! I figured I should at least try the opposite of everything I've been doing. So yesterday after school, he decides to call me a few choice names when I tell him to go pack for the retreat. I said as sweetly as possible (another thing he is hating) "oh, Holland. I can see that you are weak and need to do some swearing. Just go upstairs, get it all out and then come back down." He looks at me with this blank stare and goes "I'm done." I tried not to fall off the couch and just thanked him for being done.
The second thing was the scab picking. Again - I am constantly telling him to stop picking at them. He's getting pimples, he picks them, they bleed, they scab over and then he picks them and we have to start all over again. I've been reduced to going into his room at night, rolling him over and putting zit cream on his face. Either that or Neosporyn. So yesterday on the way to the middle school retreat, he's sitting in the front seat, trying to hide that he's picking at it again. I look over and say (sweet, happy voice again) "hey - I've decided that you have created a new hobby and I'm going to help you out. I'll get a ziploc bag, you can go in your room and pick at the scabs, put them in the baggie and then you'll have a collection!" He immediately shouts "that's gross!" and stopped picking. I haven't been able to view evidence of the ceasing of scab-picking since he's been gone. But it was sure fun shocking him with the scab-picking hobby idea.
She's got many more good ideas, but I'd better get to bed if I'm going to get anywhere close to 10-12 hours of sleep.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Shiny Children
I have such brilliant children. No, seriously. They are so smart, they figure out ways to stump me with their logic. Here's a conversation that happened today:
Romania yells from upstairs: "Mom, Egypt hit me for no reason!"
Egypt yells back: "He hit me, too!"
Romania yells again: "Yes, but I had a reason!"
Isn't that great? How do kids manage to have conversations that defy logic? Here's another great conversation overheard. By the same two involved in the last one.
Egypt: "You are such a monarch!"
Romania: "That's a butterfly. I think you mean 'moron'."
Egypt: ....."aaarrrrrghghghghg!!"
Wasn't that nice of him to correct her? I mean, what kind of brother would actually take time to tell his sister the right way to insult someone? See? Pure brilliance.
Romania yells from upstairs: "Mom, Egypt hit me for no reason!"
Egypt yells back: "He hit me, too!"
Romania yells again: "Yes, but I had a reason!"
Isn't that great? How do kids manage to have conversations that defy logic? Here's another great conversation overheard. By the same two involved in the last one.
Egypt: "You are such a monarch!"
Romania: "That's a butterfly. I think you mean 'moron'."
Egypt: ....."aaarrrrrghghghghg!!"
Wasn't that nice of him to correct her? I mean, what kind of brother would actually take time to tell his sister the right way to insult someone? See? Pure brilliance.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Finish It
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is my new motto. Today was not a particularly good day and it actually had nothing to do with Holland. Facebook is a slippery slope and today I experienced something that makes me question whether to be on it or not. I made a comment (innocent in my mind) on someone's post who wasn't feeling particularly loved that day. She felt left out of something and we kind of relate because we are both dealing with special needs kids. Sometimes it can get lonely not being able to do everything that other adult friends get to do. I was just trying to make her feel better. My comment offended someone else. There's no need to go into what was said, but this person has not been able to let it go. I apologized to her. Several times. I deleted the comment so no one else would have to see it. She would not stop emailing me. So I posted something on my Wall that said I was determined to have a good day. And it wouldn't matter that someone was mean to me.
I felt like I was back in high school. I've never had an encounter like this before. I left the comments up there so people could see the conversation and wouldn't think that I was the nut job. Sometimes no matter what you do, it's not enough for some people.
Tomorrow is a new day. I'm done with today; I've done what I could.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is my new motto. Today was not a particularly good day and it actually had nothing to do with Holland. Facebook is a slippery slope and today I experienced something that makes me question whether to be on it or not. I made a comment (innocent in my mind) on someone's post who wasn't feeling particularly loved that day. She felt left out of something and we kind of relate because we are both dealing with special needs kids. Sometimes it can get lonely not being able to do everything that other adult friends get to do. I was just trying to make her feel better. My comment offended someone else. There's no need to go into what was said, but this person has not been able to let it go. I apologized to her. Several times. I deleted the comment so no one else would have to see it. She would not stop emailing me. So I posted something on my Wall that said I was determined to have a good day. And it wouldn't matter that someone was mean to me.
I felt like I was back in high school. I've never had an encounter like this before. I left the comments up there so people could see the conversation and wouldn't think that I was the nut job. Sometimes no matter what you do, it's not enough for some people.
Tomorrow is a new day. I'm done with today; I've done what I could.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Home. Sigh.....
We've been home from the beach for a few days and already I miss the weather. Can you believe the weather was better at an Oregon beach, than in the Rose City?? Crazy. Yesterday was my birthday and with it being the first day of summer and the longest day of the year, the sun was out and it was perfect! Of course, I had to take the kids to pick out something for me (a bead for my bracelet) and my cake. Super-Hero doesn't do too well in the party-planning arena. But that's okay. I was able to listen to the kids argue for 15 minutes over which bead to get me. Doesn't matter that I had made a list of the beads I liked and any of them they chose would have been perfect! The store-owner was super sweet and patient with my kids and assured them that whatever they chose I would love. When I'm not embarrassed by them, I actually do appreciate their thoughtfulness.
I'm still trying to get the house back under control. I made the silly mistake of imagining coming home to a clean house. After all, four of us were gone for a week and most of the messiness comes from three of the four who were absent. I'm playing catch up with laundry (even though three suitcases came home clean and two were filled with dirty clothes) I'm still tearing through the mountain of dirty clothes. Romania and Egypt started a Sports Camp through our church, so I drop them off every morning and run around doing errands. Then in the afternoon, try to fix dinner, put clothes away, help straighten rooms and get Romania ready for a baseball game. Oh - I also spent time at the DMV on Monday. My driver's license was expiring on Tuesday and I completely forgot about renewing it. It didn't help that most of the paperwork was going to be difficult to find. You have to prove you're a citizen, your full legal name, full address and social security number. It was never this hard to renew a license before - I've gotta thank illegal aliens for making this process more complicated. I emailed Super-Hero while we were out of town to have him find my birth certificate and last year's tax forms. That would cover my name, social and address from the tax form and my legal citizenship from the birth certificate. He couldn't find the birth certificate anywhere. I went to the closest (I thought) open DMV office after dropping of the kids at Sports Camp. They would not accept the documents I had as enough to renew my license and the woman almost cut up my license right there! But she decided since it actually expired on the 21st, she would give me a "pass" and hope that I could find the documents I needed to prove who I was. I spent most of the afternoon looking through the files I could. But Super-Hero had locked the file cabinet in the garage and I couldn't get into it. I even asked Holland to try to pick the lock (he's done it before on door knobs!), but it didn't work. I was totally in a panic because I knew my birth certificate wasn't in there. The other document they'd accept was a passport, but I knew mine had expired years ago and wasn't sure how long past the expiration they would accept it. The DMV person told me five years past expiration and I went to England in '98 for my brother's wedding. Thankfully, Super-Hero found the passport and I raced out of the house while he got all three kids ready to head out to Romania's baseball game. Craziness.
The office I went to for the second trip to the DMV was a lot closer. I thought they were closed for renovation, but they weren't. And they were open 'til 6, so I had just enough time to get there and pray that my documents were enough. I was in and out in 10 minutes! Whew!! Got a temporary license (my mug on a piece of paper) and a hole punched in my card since it expired. So glad I got that taken care of. Here's my warning to everyone who has to renew in the next few years: look for your paperwork NOW! I can't believe how hard it was to find everything.
I'm still trying to get the house back under control. I made the silly mistake of imagining coming home to a clean house. After all, four of us were gone for a week and most of the messiness comes from three of the four who were absent. I'm playing catch up with laundry (even though three suitcases came home clean and two were filled with dirty clothes) I'm still tearing through the mountain of dirty clothes. Romania and Egypt started a Sports Camp through our church, so I drop them off every morning and run around doing errands. Then in the afternoon, try to fix dinner, put clothes away, help straighten rooms and get Romania ready for a baseball game. Oh - I also spent time at the DMV on Monday. My driver's license was expiring on Tuesday and I completely forgot about renewing it. It didn't help that most of the paperwork was going to be difficult to find. You have to prove you're a citizen, your full legal name, full address and social security number. It was never this hard to renew a license before - I've gotta thank illegal aliens for making this process more complicated. I emailed Super-Hero while we were out of town to have him find my birth certificate and last year's tax forms. That would cover my name, social and address from the tax form and my legal citizenship from the birth certificate. He couldn't find the birth certificate anywhere. I went to the closest (I thought) open DMV office after dropping of the kids at Sports Camp. They would not accept the documents I had as enough to renew my license and the woman almost cut up my license right there! But she decided since it actually expired on the 21st, she would give me a "pass" and hope that I could find the documents I needed to prove who I was. I spent most of the afternoon looking through the files I could. But Super-Hero had locked the file cabinet in the garage and I couldn't get into it. I even asked Holland to try to pick the lock (he's done it before on door knobs!), but it didn't work. I was totally in a panic because I knew my birth certificate wasn't in there. The other document they'd accept was a passport, but I knew mine had expired years ago and wasn't sure how long past the expiration they would accept it. The DMV person told me five years past expiration and I went to England in '98 for my brother's wedding. Thankfully, Super-Hero found the passport and I raced out of the house while he got all three kids ready to head out to Romania's baseball game. Craziness.
The office I went to for the second trip to the DMV was a lot closer. I thought they were closed for renovation, but they weren't. And they were open 'til 6, so I had just enough time to get there and pray that my documents were enough. I was in and out in 10 minutes! Whew!! Got a temporary license (my mug on a piece of paper) and a hole punched in my card since it expired. So glad I got that taken care of. Here's my warning to everyone who has to renew in the next few years: look for your paperwork NOW! I can't believe how hard it was to find everything.
Friday, June 17, 2011
The Beach!
We've been in Seaside for almost a week and I do NOT want to leave! It has been so much fun. We've played so many times on the beach, I've lost count. The house we rented is just fabulous. The owners have done an amazing job with some remodeling and it still has all the charm of an old house (I think it was built in the early 20's). We've had fun talking through the floor to the kids! There are vents on the first floor that you can see through to the basement. Whenever someone is talking, it's hard to tell where they are in the house. The little ones like to stand downstairs and just talk like you're in the same room!
My nephew is playing in a beach soccer tournament, so my sister, my mom and I rented a house in Seaside where the tournament is taking place. We decided to come the week before the event. It's been amazing - the weather has been so kind, the kids have had a great time and we've made some special memories during the trip. A friend I've known for over 20 years (we used to work at a Christian Conference Center in Cannon Beach) still lives in Cannon Beach and I try hard to see her when we are able to come to town. This week was a crazy schedule for her, but she was able to make time on Friday to meet us at 7 in the morning to go hunting for sand dollars at low tide. She said this particular beach was usually just littered with sand dollars. And they weren't broken! I have never seen a sand dollar with all the fuzzy stuff on it. Only when they're dried up and broken. We walked around and found so many different sizes and colors of sand dollars. And Holland was even able to catch a razor clam! Some guys were clamming when we got down there and one let Holland dig and then pull the clam out and keep it! He was so proud! What a great experience! I'll post some pictures of our adventure later when I have time to make a cool slide show. We leave on Sunday and I want to stay the whole summer!!!
What we witnessed this week is truly proof of an amazing God!
My nephew is playing in a beach soccer tournament, so my sister, my mom and I rented a house in Seaside where the tournament is taking place. We decided to come the week before the event. It's been amazing - the weather has been so kind, the kids have had a great time and we've made some special memories during the trip. A friend I've known for over 20 years (we used to work at a Christian Conference Center in Cannon Beach) still lives in Cannon Beach and I try hard to see her when we are able to come to town. This week was a crazy schedule for her, but she was able to make time on Friday to meet us at 7 in the morning to go hunting for sand dollars at low tide. She said this particular beach was usually just littered with sand dollars. And they weren't broken! I have never seen a sand dollar with all the fuzzy stuff on it. Only when they're dried up and broken. We walked around and found so many different sizes and colors of sand dollars. And Holland was even able to catch a razor clam! Some guys were clamming when we got down there and one let Holland dig and then pull the clam out and keep it! He was so proud! What a great experience! I'll post some pictures of our adventure later when I have time to make a cool slide show. We leave on Sunday and I want to stay the whole summer!!!
What we witnessed this week is truly proof of an amazing God!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Great Wolf Lodge
Super-Hero and I have been planning a secret trip to Great Wolf Lodge in Grand Mound, Washington. We decided not to tell the kids because it's just too hard for Holland to wait. Like his new psychiatrist says, "he lives in the eternal now." Plus, it was fun announcing on the morning of school that we were skipping!
We stopped for lunch on the way, but Holland refused to get out and eat. I said we were going inside and if he wanted to eat, he could come in. We sat in a booth near the window so I could see the van and he didn't move the entire time we were in there. He does a lot of "if I'm not getting my way, nobody else is going to be happy, either" thing. I told him he wasn't in charge and we were going in to eat. (He wanted McDonald's, but we chose Dairy Queen) When we got to the hotel, Super-Hero and Holland went in to see if we could get our passes early. They let you check in and use the waterpark before you even get your room. Which is nice, because you can't get your room until 4! We got in to swim at 12:30. Kids had a great time at first. It's always a gamble with Holland. Will he have fun? Will he cause problems? Will he demand things and make a scene? Yes, to all of those things. The first problem that happened was a ride down one of the tunnels. Romania and Egypt had gone down with Super-Hero and I had stayed in the wave pool with Holland. Egypt wanted me to go and dad said that I would have fun. Holland decided to come. He does not like fast, scary rides. He gets scared at Oaks Park with the small rickety roller coaster ride. Well, turns out that Egypt had taken us on the stairs to the scariest of the four rides. I thought I was going to fall out of the raft. Holland was NOT happy and was screaming (not a fun scream!) the entire way down. Egypt had this huge smile on her face. The tunnel drops straight down at least two times that I remember. Your heart goes up in your throat. After that, Holland decided he had had enough with the water and wanted to go. I said no, we were staying. He went back to the chairs where our stuff was, and fell asleep with towels over his head.
We got into the room at 4 and decided around 4.45 to look for a place to eat. Holland was content using his laptop that he brought and again refused to come eat. I left Super-Hero's phone with him and told him if he needed anything to call. We found a restaurant that was right across the parking lot. Super-Hero and Romania ordered hamburgers and Egypt ordered chicken strips. I ordered a chicken salad and I'm the only one who had a decent meal. Romania asked for a plain hamburger and it had cheese on it. So he took it back and asked for another one. Meanwhile, Egypt and Super-Hero are eating and I can tell he doesn't like his hamburger. Egypt said there was something "funny" about the chicken. When I looked at it, it didn't look cooked. When Romania got the plain hamburger, he took not even two bites and wouldn't eat anymore. Said it was horrible and Super-Hero said the same thing. My salad was the only thing that saved me! When we got back to the room, Holland was sitting in the exact same spot, doing his computer.
After dinner, the kids wanted to go back to the pool. I was getting a headache, so stayed behind and he took the kids back. They all had more fun and Holland came back about an hour later saying he was tired. Egypt and Romania slept in a little den area with bunkbeds and Holland slept on the hide-a-bed (only bed with an outlet nearby for his computer). Kids had no trouble falling asleep. At one point, Romania said he couldn't fall asleep and I said, "oh, you'll be asleep in five minutes." I went back to my bed and then a few minutes later hear him say, "mom, has it been five minutes?" I said "yes, why?" He goes, "well you said I'd be asleep in five minutes and I'm not asleep." I told him he was too literal and to be quiet!
The next morning, we couldn't get out of the room fast enough for Holland. He didn't even want to eat breakfast. That makes three meals he didn't eat. He wanted to go down and check if they could get in to the pool area at 8.30. We told the kids we needed to pack everything up before we went down to swim or we'd have to come back up and pack up everything and load it into the car by 11. Holland was so mad and threw a couple tantrums saying he didn't want to do that. I kept reminding him he wasn't in charge (psych's idea) and that this is what we were doing. After much complaining, by now it was 9 and they still hadn't loaded the car. Holland was not happy. I told him as soon as he helped load stuff, they could go swimming. I stayed to finish packing and get ready. Then I went downstairs and Super-Hero went up to load the rest of the stuff in the car. It's nice because you can play in the water area before check in and also after the next day. You just have to be out of your room and so we had to organize which clothes the kids would need after swimming.
By 11 am, Holland was complaining very loudly how hungry he was. I reminded him that he hadn't really eaten much the past three meals. He complained a lot. Super-Hero had left valuables in the car rather than get another locker. So he had to dry off, go back to the van and get his wallet. I took Holland to a snack shop and he got a hot dog, fries and a drink and his mood changed for the better. I had another chicken salad (too much greasy food on vacations!) and then the other two kids got something to eat with Super-Hero. We played tag like this all day. Swapping kids and duties. Worked out pretty well. But then Holland got bored and said he was tired and wanted to go home. I said we weren't going home and we couldn't go back to the room. He got upset (very loudly) and complained a lot. I told him he could go back to the van if he wanted. When I went to find dad and the kids eating, there was Holland, asleep! on a chair. Everyone who walked by had this sad look on their faces of a kid asleep in such a fun place. The other two finished eating and wanted to swim again. I said I would stay with Holland. When he did wake up, he wanted what he wanted (which wasn't what we were doing) and got angry. He then shoved the table, which hit my foot and broke my toenail. He also knocked some stuff off the table. I got up. I had had enough. I told him to clean up the mess and walked away. I could tell he was throwing a fit behind me. I fully expected him to come running behind me and push me. He didn't, though. He just kept after me, crying that it wasn't his fault. So tired of hearing this. I told him as soon as he cleaned up his mess, he could get his laptop. Dad came back to where we were sitting and I explained what was going on. Super-Hero took him back to the mess, but it had already been cleaned up. More crying about how it wasn't his fault.
Super-Hero decided to get him the laptop and took him to the lobby where he sat until we left at 6.30. Egypt and Romania played hard the whole time and didn't want to leave! We had a great time - minus the meltdowns that Holland had. We found a pizza joint in Centrailia called "Grandma's Pizza" with a giant pizza man outside the place. Kids thought that it was really funny to have a place called "grandma's pizza" and not have a grandma outside! We ordered a pepperoni and the kids each had these bottled drinks. We watched funny home videos on a giant tv and then left for home. Holland and Egypt fell asleep on the drive home. We were able to get all to bed without much fuss.
Now I'm wondering how our beach trip in June is going to go. My nephew is playing in a soccer tournament in Seaside and we rented a house there to stay the entire week. Hopefully having his cousins around will mean he'll have more fun. But who knows? Things rarely work out like I think they're going to.
We stopped for lunch on the way, but Holland refused to get out and eat. I said we were going inside and if he wanted to eat, he could come in. We sat in a booth near the window so I could see the van and he didn't move the entire time we were in there. He does a lot of "if I'm not getting my way, nobody else is going to be happy, either" thing. I told him he wasn't in charge and we were going in to eat. (He wanted McDonald's, but we chose Dairy Queen) When we got to the hotel, Super-Hero and Holland went in to see if we could get our passes early. They let you check in and use the waterpark before you even get your room. Which is nice, because you can't get your room until 4! We got in to swim at 12:30. Kids had a great time at first. It's always a gamble with Holland. Will he have fun? Will he cause problems? Will he demand things and make a scene? Yes, to all of those things. The first problem that happened was a ride down one of the tunnels. Romania and Egypt had gone down with Super-Hero and I had stayed in the wave pool with Holland. Egypt wanted me to go and dad said that I would have fun. Holland decided to come. He does not like fast, scary rides. He gets scared at Oaks Park with the small rickety roller coaster ride. Well, turns out that Egypt had taken us on the stairs to the scariest of the four rides. I thought I was going to fall out of the raft. Holland was NOT happy and was screaming (not a fun scream!) the entire way down. Egypt had this huge smile on her face. The tunnel drops straight down at least two times that I remember. Your heart goes up in your throat. After that, Holland decided he had had enough with the water and wanted to go. I said no, we were staying. He went back to the chairs where our stuff was, and fell asleep with towels over his head.
We got into the room at 4 and decided around 4.45 to look for a place to eat. Holland was content using his laptop that he brought and again refused to come eat. I left Super-Hero's phone with him and told him if he needed anything to call. We found a restaurant that was right across the parking lot. Super-Hero and Romania ordered hamburgers and Egypt ordered chicken strips. I ordered a chicken salad and I'm the only one who had a decent meal. Romania asked for a plain hamburger and it had cheese on it. So he took it back and asked for another one. Meanwhile, Egypt and Super-Hero are eating and I can tell he doesn't like his hamburger. Egypt said there was something "funny" about the chicken. When I looked at it, it didn't look cooked. When Romania got the plain hamburger, he took not even two bites and wouldn't eat anymore. Said it was horrible and Super-Hero said the same thing. My salad was the only thing that saved me! When we got back to the room, Holland was sitting in the exact same spot, doing his computer.
After dinner, the kids wanted to go back to the pool. I was getting a headache, so stayed behind and he took the kids back. They all had more fun and Holland came back about an hour later saying he was tired. Egypt and Romania slept in a little den area with bunkbeds and Holland slept on the hide-a-bed (only bed with an outlet nearby for his computer). Kids had no trouble falling asleep. At one point, Romania said he couldn't fall asleep and I said, "oh, you'll be asleep in five minutes." I went back to my bed and then a few minutes later hear him say, "mom, has it been five minutes?" I said "yes, why?" He goes, "well you said I'd be asleep in five minutes and I'm not asleep." I told him he was too literal and to be quiet!
The next morning, we couldn't get out of the room fast enough for Holland. He didn't even want to eat breakfast. That makes three meals he didn't eat. He wanted to go down and check if they could get in to the pool area at 8.30. We told the kids we needed to pack everything up before we went down to swim or we'd have to come back up and pack up everything and load it into the car by 11. Holland was so mad and threw a couple tantrums saying he didn't want to do that. I kept reminding him he wasn't in charge (psych's idea) and that this is what we were doing. After much complaining, by now it was 9 and they still hadn't loaded the car. Holland was not happy. I told him as soon as he helped load stuff, they could go swimming. I stayed to finish packing and get ready. Then I went downstairs and Super-Hero went up to load the rest of the stuff in the car. It's nice because you can play in the water area before check in and also after the next day. You just have to be out of your room and so we had to organize which clothes the kids would need after swimming.
By 11 am, Holland was complaining very loudly how hungry he was. I reminded him that he hadn't really eaten much the past three meals. He complained a lot. Super-Hero had left valuables in the car rather than get another locker. So he had to dry off, go back to the van and get his wallet. I took Holland to a snack shop and he got a hot dog, fries and a drink and his mood changed for the better. I had another chicken salad (too much greasy food on vacations!) and then the other two kids got something to eat with Super-Hero. We played tag like this all day. Swapping kids and duties. Worked out pretty well. But then Holland got bored and said he was tired and wanted to go home. I said we weren't going home and we couldn't go back to the room. He got upset (very loudly) and complained a lot. I told him he could go back to the van if he wanted. When I went to find dad and the kids eating, there was Holland, asleep! on a chair. Everyone who walked by had this sad look on their faces of a kid asleep in such a fun place. The other two finished eating and wanted to swim again. I said I would stay with Holland. When he did wake up, he wanted what he wanted (which wasn't what we were doing) and got angry. He then shoved the table, which hit my foot and broke my toenail. He also knocked some stuff off the table. I got up. I had had enough. I told him to clean up the mess and walked away. I could tell he was throwing a fit behind me. I fully expected him to come running behind me and push me. He didn't, though. He just kept after me, crying that it wasn't his fault. So tired of hearing this. I told him as soon as he cleaned up his mess, he could get his laptop. Dad came back to where we were sitting and I explained what was going on. Super-Hero took him back to the mess, but it had already been cleaned up. More crying about how it wasn't his fault.
Super-Hero decided to get him the laptop and took him to the lobby where he sat until we left at 6.30. Egypt and Romania played hard the whole time and didn't want to leave! We had a great time - minus the meltdowns that Holland had. We found a pizza joint in Centrailia called "Grandma's Pizza" with a giant pizza man outside the place. Kids thought that it was really funny to have a place called "grandma's pizza" and not have a grandma outside! We ordered a pepperoni and the kids each had these bottled drinks. We watched funny home videos on a giant tv and then left for home. Holland and Egypt fell asleep on the drive home. We were able to get all to bed without much fuss.
Now I'm wondering how our beach trip in June is going to go. My nephew is playing in a soccer tournament in Seaside and we rented a house there to stay the entire week. Hopefully having his cousins around will mean he'll have more fun. But who knows? Things rarely work out like I think they're going to.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
How Does She Do It?
This could have been the name of a website *I* came up with! But it's not. It's my new favorite place to plan meals and keep track of recipes. Last week I was making another effort to get organized for the week and plan meals ahead of time. It's such a simple concept, yet something that I struggle with all the time. It's hard enough to fit in everything I need to do to keep the house running. It almost feels like wasting time, to sit down and plan out a menu, shopping list, etc.
So I Googled. I just love making a verb out of a noun. What I found was 1. Most websites I came across either wanted a membeship paid, or money for a CD for a menu planner. 2. Most websites were not helpful at all. The layout was confusing, or not attractive or not helpful. 3. When I finally did find the right website - I realized how EASY it was going to be to get organized!
The website is called howdoesshedoit.com and is just wonderful. I can input my own recipes. I can search for other members' recipes. I can cut and paste members' recipes into my own menu planning. The recipes you enter are there forever (unless you delete it, of course) and then when you select a recipe, the entire shopping list is saved into a seperate link that you can print off! I can't say how much I love this site. My first week started last Sunday. I spent a couple of hours (ok - that's probably the only downside to this) entering in recipes and measurements. But when I was done, I had my entire week of dinners planned out and I'm happy to report that I stuck to it the ENTIRE week! Yes, that's right ladies. I actually followed my own plan. I figured out what I had already on hand, what few things I would need to buy and chose recipes. So far I have maybe 12 dinner recipes, 3 desserts, a couple salad and snack recipes. I will have to keep entering recipes in to my databases to be able to pull them out for later use, but then all the hard work will be over.
I was also smart and cooked up a bunch of shredded chicken, ground beef, cubed cooked top round and shredded beef, all from other meals and then I froze. Now, I just find recipes that fit the meat I have and type them up on my new friendly website!
So I Googled. I just love making a verb out of a noun. What I found was 1. Most websites I came across either wanted a membeship paid, or money for a CD for a menu planner. 2. Most websites were not helpful at all. The layout was confusing, or not attractive or not helpful. 3. When I finally did find the right website - I realized how EASY it was going to be to get organized!
The website is called howdoesshedoit.com and is just wonderful. I can input my own recipes. I can search for other members' recipes. I can cut and paste members' recipes into my own menu planning. The recipes you enter are there forever (unless you delete it, of course) and then when you select a recipe, the entire shopping list is saved into a seperate link that you can print off! I can't say how much I love this site. My first week started last Sunday. I spent a couple of hours (ok - that's probably the only downside to this) entering in recipes and measurements. But when I was done, I had my entire week of dinners planned out and I'm happy to report that I stuck to it the ENTIRE week! Yes, that's right ladies. I actually followed my own plan. I figured out what I had already on hand, what few things I would need to buy and chose recipes. So far I have maybe 12 dinner recipes, 3 desserts, a couple salad and snack recipes. I will have to keep entering recipes in to my databases to be able to pull them out for later use, but then all the hard work will be over.
I was also smart and cooked up a bunch of shredded chicken, ground beef, cubed cooked top round and shredded beef, all from other meals and then I froze. Now, I just find recipes that fit the meat I have and type them up on my new friendly website!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Overdue Update
I've been scolded several times for not updating my blog. I think I spend too much time on Facebook updating my status and have forgotten about my blog.
I've started several posts, only to abandon them and never hit "publish". The quick update is we have a new doctor. We started seeing him in March. Holland came to the first few appointments, meds were dropped and a new one added and glad to say he is doing somewhat better. The medicine is for ADD and seems to have helped him get the focus he needs. I'm shocked at his handwriting and how much he is reading and writing. It looks like the past 6 or so years, I've done nothing. I've decided that the medicine has helped so much that it's not my fault he couldn't read or write until 6th grade. The teacher and staff at his new school (he's in a day treatment program) are great. They've done several home visits to help work on family social skills and just to see how he does in a non-school environment.
We've had a few bumps in the road. Like the time he physically attacked me in a park on the way to Romania's baseball game. It was like a scene out of "What Would You Do?" with John Quinones. Only this time no one stopped to help me at all. He was really angry about having to stay for Romania's baseball game and for the time it took to walk from the parking lot to the field, he kicked, hit, yelled, yanked my coat and tripped me. And then repeated that scene on the way back to the van after I dropped Egypt off with Super-Hero at the field. It was horrible. I couldn't believe that he felt nothing about acting like that in public. He's so upset when he doesn't get his way that he resorts to phsyical violence to get what he wants. The interesting thing is that when I told our new doctor about this scene, he wasn't surprised at all. He also did nothing about giving me help on what to do when something like this happens. What I wanted to do was turn around and smack him (how's that for honest?) It's humiliating and degrading to be beaten up by your own child. And it's even harder to turn around and show love after that. All I wanted to do after that was completely ignore him. Instead of ignoring, we came home and worked around the house for 3 hours while the other three enjoyed a day at the ball field. Let's be honest here - I'm the one who was punished in this case. He feels remorse (which I'm relieved he does), but I just wish he could get to the point where he doesn't have to resort to physically hurting someone (it's not just me; he hurts his siblings, too).
We are no where near what I would consider 'normal'. I don't even like using that word. It's more like what's 'typical'. But we've come so far from last summer when I had to hospitalize him.
The next thing we have to work on is getting him into another program next fall since he ages out of the current placement. I am also planning on sending him to a 7 week program this summer and calling it 'camp'. We'll see if the even flies.
I've started several posts, only to abandon them and never hit "publish". The quick update is we have a new doctor. We started seeing him in March. Holland came to the first few appointments, meds were dropped and a new one added and glad to say he is doing somewhat better. The medicine is for ADD and seems to have helped him get the focus he needs. I'm shocked at his handwriting and how much he is reading and writing. It looks like the past 6 or so years, I've done nothing. I've decided that the medicine has helped so much that it's not my fault he couldn't read or write until 6th grade. The teacher and staff at his new school (he's in a day treatment program) are great. They've done several home visits to help work on family social skills and just to see how he does in a non-school environment.
We've had a few bumps in the road. Like the time he physically attacked me in a park on the way to Romania's baseball game. It was like a scene out of "What Would You Do?" with John Quinones. Only this time no one stopped to help me at all. He was really angry about having to stay for Romania's baseball game and for the time it took to walk from the parking lot to the field, he kicked, hit, yelled, yanked my coat and tripped me. And then repeated that scene on the way back to the van after I dropped Egypt off with Super-Hero at the field. It was horrible. I couldn't believe that he felt nothing about acting like that in public. He's so upset when he doesn't get his way that he resorts to phsyical violence to get what he wants. The interesting thing is that when I told our new doctor about this scene, he wasn't surprised at all. He also did nothing about giving me help on what to do when something like this happens. What I wanted to do was turn around and smack him (how's that for honest?) It's humiliating and degrading to be beaten up by your own child. And it's even harder to turn around and show love after that. All I wanted to do after that was completely ignore him. Instead of ignoring, we came home and worked around the house for 3 hours while the other three enjoyed a day at the ball field. Let's be honest here - I'm the one who was punished in this case. He feels remorse (which I'm relieved he does), but I just wish he could get to the point where he doesn't have to resort to physically hurting someone (it's not just me; he hurts his siblings, too).
We are no where near what I would consider 'normal'. I don't even like using that word. It's more like what's 'typical'. But we've come so far from last summer when I had to hospitalize him.
The next thing we have to work on is getting him into another program next fall since he ages out of the current placement. I am also planning on sending him to a 7 week program this summer and calling it 'camp'. We'll see if the even flies.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Along The Winding Path
Ok. I cannot believe it's been this long since I posted. I think I've started 3 different posts, only to be interrupted and had to stop. If there's too much chaos around me, I tend to start typing what I'm listening to. And we don't want to go there. You don't need to hear the kids' arguments. Ahem.
So while I'm still waiting to get into the CDRC for testing for Holland, Super Hero's insurance got changed in January and I had to start all over looking for yet another psychiatrist. I could have continued with the nurse-practitioner we had, but I don't want to spend $50 each visit. So I looked at our insurance list and just started calling doctors who fit the bill (nice little pun there). I ended up choosing someone who answered his own phone and was willing to talk right then about what it was we were needing. He had an opening the following week for an evaluation of Holland. The first five minutes he was fine. Then he started complaining he was bored. He wanted to go home. He didn't want to be there. What does that light do? Can I use your computer? Do you have wireless? Can I bring my laptop and hook it up to yours (no's to all these), then - I'm bored, I hate this, I want to go. Doctor started tossing a ball back and forth with Holland and pretty soon he was answering questions again. He contined to wander around the room, touching, opening, crawling under, flinging and playing with anything he could touch. If you didn't know the kid I was talking about, you'd think he was 4. He's about to turn 12!
So, our appointment didn't last as long as was scheduled (90 minutes), but we were to come back the following week for more observations. I also brought all his school testing, the private testing we had done, the last doctor's chart notes from the 4 years with him and his current IEP at school. By the end of the second appointment, this doctor was sure that it is not Bipolar Disorder, but rather ADD (yes, not the hyperactive one!). After reading through all the school notes, testing, previous doctor's notes, he said he was shocked that no one else had come to this conclusion. He said every doctor we had had, just stuck with the bipolar diagnosis. He said it's glaring the amount of symptoms he displays for ADD. It's all about executive function. Think about it like this, he lacks the ability to use cognitive reasoning skills. He lacks the skills for cognitive flexibility, working memory, directed attention and cognitive reasoning. This is why kids with ADD cannot finish a task, or get distracted while doing something and move on to something else.
We talked about taking Holland off all the anti-psychotic drugs. This is the first time (other than his hospitalization) that a doctor has suggested taking him OFF something. Not only are the drugs he's on powerful, they can have severe side effects. And these drugs are not tested on children. They are tested using adults and then adjusting the dose based on weight. The process will be slow. He wants to take him off gradually and meanwhile start an ADD medicine called Intuniv. He's actually been on this before. The NP gave us samples. But when we went to fill the Rx, it cost $50 for the month. There is a generic of it, but it has to be given more often and a higher dose. I noticed a difference between the two. I'm praying (yes, you pray too!) that our insurance will just charge a regular co-pay. The insurance says we have to get preauthorization with this drug. Which the doctor says usually means they aren't going to cover it. But God could have different plans. Look how He got us to this point. We've been through 4 different doctors and a major hospitalization.
He's been on the Intuniv for two weeks now and I've noticed differences. He's doing a bit better handling change, being able to go to school without a major meltdown. He still gets himself in trouble when he doesn't get his way. He'll be up to the full dose in another week and then we'll go from there.
So finally the big update. Hoping that it won't take me another month to keep things current.
So while I'm still waiting to get into the CDRC for testing for Holland, Super Hero's insurance got changed in January and I had to start all over looking for yet another psychiatrist. I could have continued with the nurse-practitioner we had, but I don't want to spend $50 each visit. So I looked at our insurance list and just started calling doctors who fit the bill (nice little pun there). I ended up choosing someone who answered his own phone and was willing to talk right then about what it was we were needing. He had an opening the following week for an evaluation of Holland. The first five minutes he was fine. Then he started complaining he was bored. He wanted to go home. He didn't want to be there. What does that light do? Can I use your computer? Do you have wireless? Can I bring my laptop and hook it up to yours (no's to all these), then - I'm bored, I hate this, I want to go. Doctor started tossing a ball back and forth with Holland and pretty soon he was answering questions again. He contined to wander around the room, touching, opening, crawling under, flinging and playing with anything he could touch. If you didn't know the kid I was talking about, you'd think he was 4. He's about to turn 12!
So, our appointment didn't last as long as was scheduled (90 minutes), but we were to come back the following week for more observations. I also brought all his school testing, the private testing we had done, the last doctor's chart notes from the 4 years with him and his current IEP at school. By the end of the second appointment, this doctor was sure that it is not Bipolar Disorder, but rather ADD (yes, not the hyperactive one!). After reading through all the school notes, testing, previous doctor's notes, he said he was shocked that no one else had come to this conclusion. He said every doctor we had had, just stuck with the bipolar diagnosis. He said it's glaring the amount of symptoms he displays for ADD. It's all about executive function. Think about it like this, he lacks the ability to use cognitive reasoning skills. He lacks the skills for cognitive flexibility, working memory, directed attention and cognitive reasoning. This is why kids with ADD cannot finish a task, or get distracted while doing something and move on to something else.
We talked about taking Holland off all the anti-psychotic drugs. This is the first time (other than his hospitalization) that a doctor has suggested taking him OFF something. Not only are the drugs he's on powerful, they can have severe side effects. And these drugs are not tested on children. They are tested using adults and then adjusting the dose based on weight. The process will be slow. He wants to take him off gradually and meanwhile start an ADD medicine called Intuniv. He's actually been on this before. The NP gave us samples. But when we went to fill the Rx, it cost $50 for the month. There is a generic of it, but it has to be given more often and a higher dose. I noticed a difference between the two. I'm praying (yes, you pray too!) that our insurance will just charge a regular co-pay. The insurance says we have to get preauthorization with this drug. Which the doctor says usually means they aren't going to cover it. But God could have different plans. Look how He got us to this point. We've been through 4 different doctors and a major hospitalization.
He's been on the Intuniv for two weeks now and I've noticed differences. He's doing a bit better handling change, being able to go to school without a major meltdown. He still gets himself in trouble when he doesn't get his way. He'll be up to the full dose in another week and then we'll go from there.
So finally the big update. Hoping that it won't take me another month to keep things current.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
DD is delayed more
I got an email today from social services. I had turned in additional paperwork a couple weeks ago to see if that changed Holland's denial status. Today the gal said that she wanted to let me know that they finally received Holland's hospital records from San Diego - the ones that mysteriously disappeared and then were found.
It's good news and bad news. The records didn't change his status for denial, BUT...
they are requesting additional testing! Yea!!! This means (I think) that he will have some kind of neuropsychological testing done - hopefully on their dime. Months ago I had filled out paperwork to have neuro testing done, but it was just overwhelming what needed to be acquired to even be put on the wait list. So they are putting the process on hold until additional tests are done and looked at. I'm hoping this also means we can be pushed to the front of the line and don't have to wait months to be seen.
So thankful that we are still going to be considered for disability. This is the only time that you hope the tests turn out bad!
It's good news and bad news. The records didn't change his status for denial, BUT...
they are requesting additional testing! Yea!!! This means (I think) that he will have some kind of neuropsychological testing done - hopefully on their dime. Months ago I had filled out paperwork to have neuro testing done, but it was just overwhelming what needed to be acquired to even be put on the wait list. So they are putting the process on hold until additional tests are done and looked at. I'm hoping this also means we can be pushed to the front of the line and don't have to wait months to be seen.
So thankful that we are still going to be considered for disability. This is the only time that you hope the tests turn out bad!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Feed the Homeless
A few weeks ago, a friend came to me and said her son wanted to make sandwiches to feed the homeless in downtown Portland. Last year, he earned money and bought the stuff he needed and made about 100 sandwiches. His parents drove him around Portland and he handed out sandwiches.
This year, he wanted to do something more. So they decided they would get donations from people at church, make sandwiches and put them in H2O bags. About five years ago, two of the pastor's daughters came up with this ministry to homeless by providing them with a lunch sack with a non-perishable food item, socks, water bottle, Gospel tract and Rescue Mission meal voucher. The girls sell the bags at church for $3 and this year some of our Treasureland kids are going to make sandwiches, purchase these H2O bags and give them out to homeless in Portland in Februrary.
This morning's service was a combined service with both of our church locations in attendance. We meet across the street at the West Linn High School to accommodate all the people. We arrived early and Egypt and Romania and 5 other kids stood by the doors as people came in. They held signs and coffee cans with information about their project. The kids did a great job and in just one service, raised close to $75 (which is probably a very low estimate!) Next week we'll take the kids to each church location and ask for more donations to be able to buy as many H20 bags and sandwiches as we can. In February around President's Day, we'll make sandwiches and then head out to downtown and let these kids minister!
This year, he wanted to do something more. So they decided they would get donations from people at church, make sandwiches and put them in H2O bags. About five years ago, two of the pastor's daughters came up with this ministry to homeless by providing them with a lunch sack with a non-perishable food item, socks, water bottle, Gospel tract and Rescue Mission meal voucher. The girls sell the bags at church for $3 and this year some of our Treasureland kids are going to make sandwiches, purchase these H2O bags and give them out to homeless in Portland in Februrary.
This morning's service was a combined service with both of our church locations in attendance. We meet across the street at the West Linn High School to accommodate all the people. We arrived early and Egypt and Romania and 5 other kids stood by the doors as people came in. They held signs and coffee cans with information about their project. The kids did a great job and in just one service, raised close to $75 (which is probably a very low estimate!) Next week we'll take the kids to each church location and ask for more donations to be able to buy as many H20 bags and sandwiches as we can. In February around President's Day, we'll make sandwiches and then head out to downtown and let these kids minister!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
The Cleaning Fool
Everyday after getting the boys off to their different schools, Egypt asks me if we can do something "fun". Somehow we always end up baking. I'm not sure how that happens. When Holland was home schooled, we were always disassembling things. We took apart an old electronic typewriter so he could use the motor (remember the motorized sit and spin? or the make-shift weed eater?); he had me build a pit kiln in the backyard so he could make his own nature print tiles; he made robots out of IKEA boxes, electricity wires, motors and thing-a-ma-bobs; he made a luge out of boxes and two skateboards. So I thought with Egypt home, things would be low-key.
Nix that idea. We've been baking, cleaning and puzzling for about two weeks now. Every day for about 10 days, we made muffins, bundt cakes, cookies, gluten free cookies, brownies and bread. Then I would bore her with "school". She kept complaining that she wanted to do something fun. I told her we couldn't bake all day, but I was happy to do that for one project during the day.
That desire to bake has been replaced by the need to clean. And more specifically, iron. She loves to sweep the kitchen floor, wash windows, vacuum, and straighten up the boys' rooms. This morning after the boys left and she had her bath, she starts trying to convince me we need another project. She wanted to do something "fun". I said I needed to finish some laundry organizing (Super Hero built me a new shelf and clothes rod in my tiny laundry room) and then iron a few things. I said we could do some school and then she could pick something to do. It had to be "fun". I asked her what "fun" was. She said, "like ironing!"
Nix that idea. We've been baking, cleaning and puzzling for about two weeks now. Every day for about 10 days, we made muffins, bundt cakes, cookies, gluten free cookies, brownies and bread. Then I would bore her with "school". She kept complaining that she wanted to do something fun. I told her we couldn't bake all day, but I was happy to do that for one project during the day.
That desire to bake has been replaced by the need to clean. And more specifically, iron. She loves to sweep the kitchen floor, wash windows, vacuum, and straighten up the boys' rooms. This morning after the boys left and she had her bath, she starts trying to convince me we need another project. She wanted to do something "fun". I said I needed to finish some laundry organizing (Super Hero built me a new shelf and clothes rod in my tiny laundry room) and then iron a few things. I said we could do some school and then she could pick something to do. It had to be "fun". I asked her what "fun" was. She said, "like ironing!"
Thursday, January 13, 2011
He's Alive!
Well, it appears that Holland was born afterall. I finally got my act together and went to Social Services to turn in more paperwork for my appeal. In case I forgot to mention this before, the application for Holland's disability was denied. I've heard this is very common. They want to weed out all the flim-flam and make it so difficult to get any assistance and hope you'll give up. I can see why people do give up. Navigating this system has been horrible. No one wants to help you, you get misdirected answers, and people generally feel all you want is money.
After I got the denial letter, I immediately got on the phone with Oregon Disability Rights and talked to someone about what to do. I sent them a bunch of paperwork on past testing. But they didn't get the last two pages of something we had done 5 years ago. The psychologist that did the testing is impossible to get ahold of and hasn't returned either phone call from me. So I'm still waiting to get them what they need.
In the meantime, someone from Social Services (probably the state level at this point) calls me and asks me a bunch of questions (but I wasn't given the chance to ask any) and says basically we will have a conference call on a specific date to talk about the appeal. It was irritating that he wouldn't give me any other information. So the conference call came and they told me why Holland wouldn't qualify. I told them repeatedly that I understood he wouldn't qualify from the bipolar diagnosis. I told them his learning disabilities were going to prevent him from functioning as an adult. They told me his IQ was too high. I pointed out that the testing they had was not the entire picture. The testing they had was from the current IEP, which wouldn't have been a problem, except that Holland had had testing back in February of 2010 and I was told at that meeting that he was "mentally retarded". Something very hard to hear that I actually fought against putting in his IEP. I requested more testing since I didn't think those results were accurate. The testing was done under stressful circumstances, in long sessions and with a person he'd never met and had trouble taking instruction from. In both testing situations, he scored "extremely low", "very low" and "below average" on many things. He had a few jumps in scores that showed he was above his age for logic. The thing the conference call people said was his "overall" picture was that of a kid with learning disabilities, but not developmental disabilities.
I said I also was trying to get ahold of his birth records from San Diego where he was born. I had been told that the hospital could not find those records. I knew he was exposed to drugs and alcohol during pregnancy and it was a matter of finding those documents. I called our lawyer and asked if she had any records that would indicate drug use. She actually had paperwork from a social worker in San Diego that showed birth mom admitted to alcohol and meth use during her pregnancy. The records indicated that she was "clean" at the birth, as was Holland. But she had been in the hospital for three weeks because her water broke early. So of course she wouldn't have drugs in her system at that point. The fact that she admitted to it was a big plus. Although I don't think it shows the true amount of what was consumed.
The conference call people said I could ask for an extension and get those documents and have them faxed to them. So yesterday, I had social services fax those papers and when the gal was giving me back my copies, said "You must have put pressure on the hospital for those records." I told her that the socialworker paperwork was actually from my lawyer. I didn't get what she was talking about. She explained again that the hosiptal did in fact have his records and needed another request sent out and they would send them to her. I couldn't believe it. How did they find them when they were adament about not having them? Someone, somewhere put pressure on them to look harder. The social worker told me it was really good I had documents proving that birth mom abused drugs and alcohol.
Now I just have to wait for the appeals people to call me back. Hopefully with good news that my appeal has been accepted and we can move forward.
After I got the denial letter, I immediately got on the phone with Oregon Disability Rights and talked to someone about what to do. I sent them a bunch of paperwork on past testing. But they didn't get the last two pages of something we had done 5 years ago. The psychologist that did the testing is impossible to get ahold of and hasn't returned either phone call from me. So I'm still waiting to get them what they need.
In the meantime, someone from Social Services (probably the state level at this point) calls me and asks me a bunch of questions (but I wasn't given the chance to ask any) and says basically we will have a conference call on a specific date to talk about the appeal. It was irritating that he wouldn't give me any other information. So the conference call came and they told me why Holland wouldn't qualify. I told them repeatedly that I understood he wouldn't qualify from the bipolar diagnosis. I told them his learning disabilities were going to prevent him from functioning as an adult. They told me his IQ was too high. I pointed out that the testing they had was not the entire picture. The testing they had was from the current IEP, which wouldn't have been a problem, except that Holland had had testing back in February of 2010 and I was told at that meeting that he was "mentally retarded". Something very hard to hear that I actually fought against putting in his IEP. I requested more testing since I didn't think those results were accurate. The testing was done under stressful circumstances, in long sessions and with a person he'd never met and had trouble taking instruction from. In both testing situations, he scored "extremely low", "very low" and "below average" on many things. He had a few jumps in scores that showed he was above his age for logic. The thing the conference call people said was his "overall" picture was that of a kid with learning disabilities, but not developmental disabilities.
I said I also was trying to get ahold of his birth records from San Diego where he was born. I had been told that the hospital could not find those records. I knew he was exposed to drugs and alcohol during pregnancy and it was a matter of finding those documents. I called our lawyer and asked if she had any records that would indicate drug use. She actually had paperwork from a social worker in San Diego that showed birth mom admitted to alcohol and meth use during her pregnancy. The records indicated that she was "clean" at the birth, as was Holland. But she had been in the hospital for three weeks because her water broke early. So of course she wouldn't have drugs in her system at that point. The fact that she admitted to it was a big plus. Although I don't think it shows the true amount of what was consumed.
The conference call people said I could ask for an extension and get those documents and have them faxed to them. So yesterday, I had social services fax those papers and when the gal was giving me back my copies, said "You must have put pressure on the hospital for those records." I told her that the socialworker paperwork was actually from my lawyer. I didn't get what she was talking about. She explained again that the hosiptal did in fact have his records and needed another request sent out and they would send them to her. I couldn't believe it. How did they find them when they were adament about not having them? Someone, somewhere put pressure on them to look harder. The social worker told me it was really good I had documents proving that birth mom abused drugs and alcohol.
Now I just have to wait for the appeals people to call me back. Hopefully with good news that my appeal has been accepted and we can move forward.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Holding My Breath
How is it that a month goes by without me blogging? A year ago that would have seemed impossible. I think I had something important to say every day! Yeah. I wish that were the case. But I have some relatively good news about Holland. We switched him to a new med. Well, not entirely new. He's been on it before and beats me as to why we took him off it. But another med he was on caused a 15 pound weight gain in a month and a half! Doc thought it was probably a combination of a growth spurt and the medication. But once he was taken off it, in less than 3 weeks, he had dropped five pounds. And I really think it was making him all wonky. He just didn't feel good and the medicine was making it worse.
He's back on Abilify for three weeks, and I've been noticing things over the past 8 to 10 days that have been very encouraging. I've always known he's got a very caring heart. He truly wants others to feel comfortable and be happy. And he's really been able to do that. If one of his siblings is hurt, he's running around looking for bandaids or a blanket. When I was sick on Christmas Eve, he brought me ice water with a straw. One time he made me scrambled eggs. And he's controlling his temper so much better. His tolerance for frustration is showing signs of improving and he's able to switch activities and not come unglued.
This is a far cry from just a month ago when things were so bad I was considering some pretty drastic measures. Praying that we can keep him on this med for awhile and he can be successful. And we also need to find a new doctor. Super Hero's insurance changed again and our current psych isn't on the list. It's either find someone else, or pay $50 each visit! Yow-zar!
He's back on Abilify for three weeks, and I've been noticing things over the past 8 to 10 days that have been very encouraging. I've always known he's got a very caring heart. He truly wants others to feel comfortable and be happy. And he's really been able to do that. If one of his siblings is hurt, he's running around looking for bandaids or a blanket. When I was sick on Christmas Eve, he brought me ice water with a straw. One time he made me scrambled eggs. And he's controlling his temper so much better. His tolerance for frustration is showing signs of improving and he's able to switch activities and not come unglued.
This is a far cry from just a month ago when things were so bad I was considering some pretty drastic measures. Praying that we can keep him on this med for awhile and he can be successful. And we also need to find a new doctor. Super Hero's insurance changed again and our current psych isn't on the list. It's either find someone else, or pay $50 each visit! Yow-zar!
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