Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Emancipation Proclamation

Every week we go see Holland where he is now living.  There is only one day each week set aside for visiting the boys and it's Sundays.  We usually have the other two kids go with my mom after church or some other activity.  This week Egypt got to go to OMSI with my sister and her cousin.  Romania just spent his afternoon catching up on homework and cleaning his room so he wouldn't have to pay his sister any more money to finish the job.

Since we don't get much time with him, I like to bring him treats.  He's still not able to have gluten, so sometimes we get him a milkshake from McDonald's or a gluten free burger from Burgerville.  Sunday I had planned on bringing gluten free brownies I had made from a mix from Trader Joe's.  I have used their mixes before and have always been pleased with the results.  My weekends are usually tight schedule-wise, so it was tricky getting the brownies made up the day before and getting everyone where they needed to be and us on our way to visit Holland by 1 when the visiting starts.

We were pleased to see he finally had his new glasses on and he said he had already finished 8 of the 9 books he received for Christmas!  I cannot keep up with such a voracious reader.  Never thought I'd be saying that about HIM!!  But after about 5 minutes of small talk, he asks me, "So I was wondering if I would be able to be emancipated from you and dad?"

It's always hard to know how to respond to him.  Sometimes I think he's trying to hurt my feelings.  Sometimes he just doesn't understand what he's asking or doing or how it affects another person.  I asked him if he knew what that meant and he explained it.  I told him I didn't think he'd be able to make decisions well enough on his own and that usually when a child is emancipated, it's because the parents are mistreating the child.  He said he didn't want to be under my control any more and wanted "more freedom" to do what he wanted.  I told him he would have to be able to get a job and a place to live, because if he was emancipated, dad and I would not be helping him with that.  He then explained his reasons behind why I truly believe he wants this: he wants to be able to go back downtown without any repercussions.  He's curious what has happened to his friend that he ran with.  He saw the life of downtown Portland as one of no restrictions, no boundaries, no mother telling him he couldn't do something.

It's such a hard thing to hear from your own child that he doesn't want you.  If we had been these monstrous parents, I might understand why he is asking these questions.  But, once again, I'm left with a bitter taste and more questions as to why we were chosen to raise this child.

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